Adventure #47: Sharing Food

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart." ~ Cesar Chavez

So, unlike Joey from Friends, I do share food. I also love it when people share with me. With that in mind, here's what I've noticed about sharing food:

• The offer, even if it isn't accepted, always puts a smile on the faces of those involved.
• When we are at a loss for what to do for someone, we provide food.
• Since food is one of the basic necessities of survival, giving food to someone is saying, "I want you to survive. Take what I have to help you live because I want you to stay alive. That's how much you mean to me."
• It never ceases to amaze me how often I feel fuller by sharing.

The quote at the top also expresses the sentiment, "the people who give you their food give you their heart." Cheesy? Nice way to top a pizza at least? Perhaps, but all the same it is true. There's a reason that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I submit that that actually applies to all humans. And the opposite side to that then is that those doing the sharing, also share their heart as the quote states. 

Therefore...

When I offer you food:

• Take it.
• If you are not actually hungry or truly despise the dish, politely (or impolitely - I won't tell you entirely how to live your life...) refuse. I will understand but I will probably try to find something else you would like.
• Do not feel guilty accepting. Ever. I am willing to share both to be kind and because I care about you. I extend the offer because I want you to live and I will help that continue however I can.
• I will offer food when I find out you are going through a hard time. In many ways, this is my version of hugging. I can't always tell if a person would be open to a hug in that instant so I will take another route to help - through food.
• Finally, AND THIS IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE, if I ever say to you, "Would you like a blue fruit snack?" you can be assured that you mean the world to me. Blue fruit snacks are the rarest and most favorite of all the foods. If I ever give you one, that means you are set with me - I will care about you forever.

This has been another installment of Sharing is Caring. Tune in next time when we interview those crazies to turn down food from their friends...

(PS: If you ever offer me blue food - especially in fruit snack form - you'll will probably never be able to get rid of me from that point on. Blue food is commitment food. So be prepared.)

Adventure #46: Gears

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." ~Charles M. Schulz

The design of gears is that they are simultaneously moving toward and away from each other as they turn. While I think this is a fascinating fact, it makes me wonder if there are times in our lives that we have to move away from some things as we progress toward others. Perhaps, like gears, we'll come full circle, thus returning to the original point.

Also I wonder, like the gears, if we ever fully know the purpose for our turning. Gears definitely don't see their place in the passing of the time on the giant clock or in the rushing of the amusement park ride for the guests' enjoyment. Without gears, we couldn't open cans or listen to a music box. In this way, perhaps, we are gears that play a part in the movement of the universe.

This then leads me to the conclusion that a single gear does not a machine make. We need one another to move us, inspire us to move. Just as a single gear on its own has little or no effect, we can have a greater impact when we connect with others and together get the gears turning. That's when the adventures begin.

Adventure #45: The 10th Anniversary!

"...what if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials in this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are [His] mercies in disguise?" - Laura Story, Blessings

Happy Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day!!!

Granted, a few days late but the sentiment is still there! I hope everyone had a splendid April 28th. Mine was especially interesting this year...haha...and it made me rather reflective. I took a look back on what the previous years have been and I realized a few things I'd like to share.

The first thing I realized is that I've been celebrating this holiday for ten years. This year is its 10th anniversary!!! Hence, the title of this post...

Next, every Stop and Smell the Roses day has be spent very differently. And all have been - at least in part - how the day is supposed to be.

So finally, I've discovered that I've had to fight for this day every year. Even it's origin was essentially to stop an argument (see this post). There was a year that I had to take my first car, Guido, to the junkyard on this day (I was actually quite devastated by this, thank you very much!). I've had finals on this day for at least two of the years. One year I had to get up at 6 am for a moving sale that went to like 3 or something. I've worked through it in various years (though I have also skipped work and school for it other years). One year, my grandma died the day before. So yeah, a battle every year.

That brings us to this year. This whole entire year has not been easy on me, especially emotionally. My anxieties have been higher than ever, mostly due to going nonstop with school and work full time. So when my car started acting up the night before my day, I was stressed. I am a little ashamed to admit it but my only thought process was: Why does this have to happen before my holiday? I was letting myself relax! I was feeling happier than I have let myself feel in months.

Now I recognized that this was a problem. I should let myself be happier more often (I'm working on it!). But I was very focused on how much I didn't want this Stop and Smell the Roses day to be such a battle. And by the end of the night, after complaining to my darling roommates, I had decided that the next day was going to be a good day.

When the morning came, I was still recovering from the emotional let down of the car problems. But I had the opportunity to go shopping for work with my roommate, Lindsay. Amid the many adventures, we did discuss once again how I was feeling about my holiday. I expressed similar sentiments as before but also that I'd never not turned one of these days around. They always turned out. This is when she asked me possibly the most important question I've ever been asked.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you don't have to do it alone?'

I was a bit confused. So I asked, "What do you mean?"

This brilliant girl answered simply and powerfully, "The Atonement is meant to be used for more than just repentance and overcoming sins."

She continued to express her thoughts on this. I apologize here to you, Lindsay, because I was only half listening after that first sentence. I say this because after she said Atonement I knew she was right. I knew I could and needed to turn to my Savior with this. I felt it. Every time I came back to her question and the answer (which was like every other minute on OSASTRD), I could feel it again.

In my reflective state then, I've discovered a new level to Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day. While some years are going to be harder than others, I will never have to face them alone. The Savior wants every day to be like Stop and Smell the Roses day for us. And the best way to do this is to turn to Him in all things...in made up holidays and car troubles even.

And when you forget this...when I forget this, as I've unfortunately done, I truly appreciate those blessed friends who remind me who I need to be taking these things to. Thank you for helping me with my adventures.

Adventure #44: Averageness

"Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top." ~John Wooden

I guess I've always thought I am average. At everything I do in my life and as a person in general. Or at least I've thought that I'm not exceptional at anything, especially not any one thing. So I've always thought that meant I'm average.

Average intelligence.
Average abilities.
Average human.

Recently, it has been proposed that being average is unacceptable. Like a couple days ago in General Conference:

"There is no room for average or complacent disciples. Average is the enemy of excellence, and average commitment will prevent you from enduring to the end."

Hearing that, I nearly gave up right then. If average is the "enemy of excellence," then I must be the lowest sort of scum on the earth. Within the idea of being average, I have believed also that exceptional was out of my reach. This led to thinking that average is all I will ever be and by default enduring to the end isn't even in the range of my possibilities.

At that time, I felt discouraged and so I quit listening. I thought: I'm not enough and how could I ever be? In that attitude, I continued with my day. But Heavenly Father must have been watching. I can only guess that He might have thrown up His arms whilst shaking His head at my condition. Because then I can imagine Him smiling at an idea. And this is what followed.

I found myself with a few rare moments of alone time with my mother, who I found out quickly, felt similarly discouraged to this idea of average. We discussed how our expectations for ourselves are so high that excellence is virtually unattainable and we should probably take it a little easier on ourselves. Especially when hearing direction like above, we should take stock of our situation and attitude but not jump automatically to the conclusion that this message was obviously to let us know how much we are failing. Because we're not. We're really not.

Sharon Palmer is not a woman I would ever label as average. She is a remarkable person - wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc. Pianist, vocalist, chorister, speech therapist, teacher, writer, Relief Society president, etc. I mean, she earned her Master's degree while working full-time as a speech therapist and keeping her family going. She's written numerous books - some of them more than once. She taught piano off and on all through my growing up. She's always attended our events - concerts, games, etc. She welcomes anyone into her home - sometimes to stay. There were times when she carried our family. Other times she has been known to drag our family. Basically, she's essential to our family! And, she doesn't seem to do anything by halves. She has wisdom and determination beyond her years and silliness to relate to any age. My mom is an EXCEPTIONAL woman.

So when we started discussing how similarly we felt about our "averageness," I was mildly surprised. But it helped me realize that I wasn't alone in this. It even made sense for it to be my mom who I could relate to entirely on this. In this discussion then, we asked, "What is average? How is that even determined?" For me, this is a crucial point. Since we are advised not to compare, average must be determined on a personal level. We each have within us average and exceptional so we have to discover it for ourselves.

What is my average then?

I feel like I bring more questions to these writings than answers. Because I don't yet have a complete answer to what my average is. But I have realized that I'm doing better than I thought. I know I can still improve. I have exceptional and average moments still but I don't think I'm failing like I'd concluded before. I will also continue to look into averages so that I can understand where my excellence begins.

But for now, I guess the real point of this exposition was to brag on my brilliant mother a bit. And to inform anyone else reading this, with similar feelings of average and excellence, that you are doing much better than you think. I'd go so far as to advise acknowledging your excellence! You are exceptional humans! Give yourself a break because you are doing such good work and enjoying your adventures! As it should be!

Adventure #43: Living Joyfully

"Happiness here and now consists in freely, lovingly, joyfully acknowledging God's will for us -- and doing it in all ways and all affairs big and small." ~ Ezra Taft Benson

*SPOILER ALERT* For the Provo YSA 138th ward (especially its Relief Society members), this is a preview of my RS lesson for this coming Sunday. Do not continue reading if you want that to remain a complete mystery. If you'd like to know a bit of what's heading your way, please keep reading. Thank you.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

If you've ever read You Are Special by Max Lucado, then you know all about gray dots and gold stars and what they mean when another Wemmick sticks them to you. If you haven't read it, then I recommend a read and then a re-read. However, I'm going to proceed with this entry as if you have all read it.

Recently, my days have been filled with gray dots. And, I must admit that many, many of these gray dots have stuck to me. Saturday was an especially dense gray dot day. Possibly of my own design and I said such to my roommate who then said this:

"Hon, they're not your idea, they're Satan's. He's the one who wants you to feel bad about yourself. I mean, I totally understand feeling down because of any of those things. But just remember that no matter how tough things are in the moment, you'll outlast them!"

Spectacular wisdom, wouldn't you say? I do. And as I've been preparing my lesson for this week, I found that Pres. Benson also agrees. This is what he said:

"There are times when you simply have to righteously hang on and outlast the devil until his depressive spirit leaves you."

Both of these astute people direct our attention to the fact that some of what we think isn't our own creation. Do we really want to think badly of ourselves? I know I don't but up to this point hadn't ever made that connection. I recognize have the choice to accept this negativity or reject it for the light that Heavenly Father will let in once I do. Like Eli in You Are Special, He will always be there to show us how He feels about us - no gray dots or gold stars matter to Him. Beyond that, nothing Satan says to us can even touch what our great Creator knows about us individually.

Now I would also like to point out that Lindsay, the roommate who gave the advice above, is also in charge of assigning teachers in Relief Society. I was picked for this lesson less than 24 hours after she gave me that original advice.

I haven't asked her yet, so I don't know but there's a chance she read the lesson and applied her knowledge here. However, this isn't the first time that her advice and point of view has been so exactly on-target. From this experience and many before, I acknowledge that she is both bright and brilliant and also chooses to rely on our Heavenly Father to direct her words and actions for the benefit of all she encounters. And therefore, I sense a divine fingerprint integral in the arranging of these circumstances.

So how do we live joyfully? Free from grays dots and gold stars? Be like Punchinello - visit your Maker every day. Reject the negativity thrown at you from the deceiver. As is unavoidable, when you find yourself in those moments of despair, remember that you will outlast the devil. And, anytime you are willing to turn to your Father in Heaven, He is waiting for you with open arms. These are just a few of the adventures we are here to enjoy!

Adventure #42: Superheroes

“Superheroes were born in the minds of people desperate to be rescued.” ~ Jodi Picoult

I've always wanted to have super abilities. Flight. Invisibility. Telekinesis. The possibilities are endless and I'm stuck a limited mortal. One that has no potential to ever develop shape-shifting powers or super strength. I guess I could volunteer to be tested on, maybe get shot with some gamma rays or bit by a radioactive spider. But that isn't entirely conceivable. So for now - until I find a realistic option - I'll continue to pretend.

Of course, pretending is how I found my alter ego in the first place. Super Shadow has always been the better side of me. Ever since I stole my Young Women President's jacket at Girl's Camp and wore it around my neck like a cape anyway. Due to following Jen (Sister Christiansen) around that summer, I became Shadow. Snitching the jacket made me Super. I spent those days "flying" around camp - preparing meals, running errands, and creating general happiness. I felt super; I acted super.

And so I've been able to recreate this other days in my life as well. Through being Super Shadow, I've had a rare opportunity to be the type of hero I wish my every day person was. Much like what Pres. Uchtorf said:

"...we all have the capacity to be everyday heroes. Real heroes are those who try their best to inspire, uplift, and improve the lives of others, and who seek to love their fellowmen as the Lord loves them." 

It's a place to start at least. Inspiring and uplifting are, in large part, why we look to superheroes in our lives. Captain America, Batman, Thor, Wonder Woman, etc represent the power for good we desire to create in this dreary world. My goal then is to use Super Shadow to improve the lives around me. And, I hope that in some way my super-ness shines.

At least until the day, I am able to start moving things with my mind anyway. Then I'll have even more adventures to enjoy!

“Superpowers, don't always make you a superhero.” ~ Michael Grant

Adventure# 41: Advice

For a few months I've been pondering some advice from a wise friend of mine. I thought I'd share her wise words.

"One thing that I really do believe, is that when you do what's best for yourself, it ends up being what's best for others as well. I know change isn't comfortable for you, but I think you're safe in embracing it. :)" 

-Hilary Wilson

I'm still working out all the ways this applies to my life right now. And since I appreciated Hilary's assurance of my safety in change, I figured someone out there might benefit from her wisdom as well. Hope you're all continuing to enjoy your adventures!