Adventure #59: On This Day

"Have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadn't met a certain person your entire life would be completely different?"

I moved into my own apartment on April 16th of 2017 and one might think that that was the catalyst to a new life. But in reality, and I know this to be absolute truth, my life was changed because of the visit that took place ten days later on April 26th. The differences began subtly. But as seems to happen with most progression, things snowballed.

After hearing the knock, I let the three of them in - Erin, Holley, and Crystal. I didn't know that one of them was one of the Relief Society presidents in the ward (or if I did, I had completely forgotten). I did know, or figured out rather quickly, that this was going to be an entertaining encounter. The conversation ranged from what I do in my day-to-day life to the upcoming movie releases and, of course, the superheroes on the posters in my living room. Crystal was quiet, observing and just mostly soaked in the conversation. Holley knew many things about the Marvel Universe and other such nerdy topics and shared her knowledge openly. Erin, who I found out was the RS president, asked insightful questions, the kind that proved she was listening and paying attention. By the end of this discussion, much laughter had been exchanged and my smile had gotten wider and wider.

Interestingly, one of our parting conversations foreshadowed events that I only teasingly suggested.

"If you want me for a specific calling, better snatch me up quick," I said, joking vainly. I remember Erin laughing and acknowledging the pretended urgency at the thought, but when I brought it up to her later, she didn't remember anything about it. Coincidental and convenient for upcoming events.

My memory, however, was clear when I met with Bishop three weeks later.

"We'd like you to be the secretary of Relief Society 2. Could you do that?" he asked.

A great part of me wanted to say no. Honestly, moving into this ward, I thought I would disappear for a while, fly under the radar maybe. That's what I wanted to do anyway. My faith was not where it had been, so the desire to reject the call was strong. But I knew this calling meant working with Erin and she had already won a fair portion of my loyalty and support in just the two weeks I had known her.

"I can do that," I finally affirmed.

And that was that. I became a part of the ward. It's not something I had planned to seek out and it didn't happen immediately but, piece by piece, I became a part of this family. My belonging was established and before I knew it, the amount of love - for me and in me for others - was undeniable and unforgettable.

The initial visit was the catalyst for not only my further RS involvement but also for my friendship with Erin. Then with Stacey. And Ashley and Alaina, and Jenele. And Paige. It led to meeting Leah on the way to the Relief Society retreat and then, in later months, her telling me to "get out" over and over again (to which I mostly refused). Watching What's Up Doc? Rachel and Erin soon followed. Numerous game nights. Flag football with RedD as DJ. Ward council and new member meetings with Kiel. The House of Eight: Ryan, Kyle, Jordan. Sending random memes to Jane. Scores of memorable people who have successfully, and with little resistance from me, become integral to my life. The characters of which I will value and hold dear for the course of my life. Miraculous - every single one of them is a miracle.

And they have made the subsequent adventures most enjoyable.

Adventure# 41: Advice

For a few months I've been pondering some advice from a wise friend of mine. I thought I'd share her wise words.

"One thing that I really do believe, is that when you do what's best for yourself, it ends up being what's best for others as well. I know change isn't comfortable for you, but I think you're safe in embracing it. :)" 

-Hilary Wilson

I'm still working out all the ways this applies to my life right now. And since I appreciated Hilary's assurance of my safety in change, I figured someone out there might benefit from her wisdom as well. Hope you're all continuing to enjoy your adventures!

Adventure #35: Wall of Kindness

Friends mean well. Most of the time their advice is impeccable. Sometimes, however, their advice takes a while to sink in - or is still sinking in. Specifically, over the course of the last 7 years, I've had three friends attempt to teach me essentially the same thing but I'm still working on the concept. Originally, the lesson was to be assertive. The next time it was to do what I wanted. Most recently, it came in the form of a diagnosis - I have a Wall of Kindness.

The Wall of Kindness

• definition: barrier or force that prevents mistreatment of others but also promotes service for others always without consideration for myself.

Having a wall of this sort doesn't sound so bad, right? For the most part, it is a blessing. I've gained much in my life from my wall. 

• applications: 
• The Golden Rule - I strive to do to others what I would have others do to me.
• No matter how people have treated me, I have responded with kindness.
• At my convenience or inconvenience, my kindness continues.
• The result is my living for other people. After a while, I don't know what exactly my own life is made of.

And maybe it's that last part when it becomes a problem. Maybe there could be such a thing as 'too nice' when you don't know who you are anymore. But this has never stopped me. My Wall of Kindness reigns in my life. The Wall is all I've ever known - there's a safety in it as well as a mastery. If I can continue to be kind, I win in many ways. This leads me to believe that kindness isn't all there is.

What I truly seek is balance. The Scales of Kindness sound ideal. Maybe I can be kind without it ruling my life. I will be kind and still be myself. That's my new goal.