Adventure #45: The 10th Anniversary!

"...what if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials in this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are [His] mercies in disguise?" - Laura Story, Blessings

Happy Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day!!!

Granted, a few days late but the sentiment is still there! I hope everyone had a splendid April 28th. Mine was especially interesting this year...haha...and it made me rather reflective. I took a look back on what the previous years have been and I realized a few things I'd like to share.

The first thing I realized is that I've been celebrating this holiday for ten years. This year is its 10th anniversary!!! Hence, the title of this post...

Next, every Stop and Smell the Roses day has be spent very differently. And all have been - at least in part - how the day is supposed to be.

So finally, I've discovered that I've had to fight for this day every year. Even it's origin was essentially to stop an argument (see this post). There was a year that I had to take my first car, Guido, to the junkyard on this day (I was actually quite devastated by this, thank you very much!). I've had finals on this day for at least two of the years. One year I had to get up at 6 am for a moving sale that went to like 3 or something. I've worked through it in various years (though I have also skipped work and school for it other years). One year, my grandma died the day before. So yeah, a battle every year.

That brings us to this year. This whole entire year has not been easy on me, especially emotionally. My anxieties have been higher than ever, mostly due to going nonstop with school and work full time. So when my car started acting up the night before my day, I was stressed. I am a little ashamed to admit it but my only thought process was: Why does this have to happen before my holiday? I was letting myself relax! I was feeling happier than I have let myself feel in months.

Now I recognized that this was a problem. I should let myself be happier more often (I'm working on it!). But I was very focused on how much I didn't want this Stop and Smell the Roses day to be such a battle. And by the end of the night, after complaining to my darling roommates, I had decided that the next day was going to be a good day.

When the morning came, I was still recovering from the emotional let down of the car problems. But I had the opportunity to go shopping for work with my roommate, Lindsay. Amid the many adventures, we did discuss once again how I was feeling about my holiday. I expressed similar sentiments as before but also that I'd never not turned one of these days around. They always turned out. This is when she asked me possibly the most important question I've ever been asked.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you don't have to do it alone?'

I was a bit confused. So I asked, "What do you mean?"

This brilliant girl answered simply and powerfully, "The Atonement is meant to be used for more than just repentance and overcoming sins."

She continued to express her thoughts on this. I apologize here to you, Lindsay, because I was only half listening after that first sentence. I say this because after she said Atonement I knew she was right. I knew I could and needed to turn to my Savior with this. I felt it. Every time I came back to her question and the answer (which was like every other minute on OSASTRD), I could feel it again.

In my reflective state then, I've discovered a new level to Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day. While some years are going to be harder than others, I will never have to face them alone. The Savior wants every day to be like Stop and Smell the Roses day for us. And the best way to do this is to turn to Him in all things...in made up holidays and car troubles even.

And when you forget this...when I forget this, as I've unfortunately done, I truly appreciate those blessed friends who remind me who I need to be taking these things to. Thank you for helping me with my adventures.

Adventure #44: Averageness

"Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top." ~John Wooden

I guess I've always thought I am average. At everything I do in my life and as a person in general. Or at least I've thought that I'm not exceptional at anything, especially not any one thing. So I've always thought that meant I'm average.

Average intelligence.
Average abilities.
Average human.

Recently, it has been proposed that being average is unacceptable. Like a couple days ago in General Conference:

"There is no room for average or complacent disciples. Average is the enemy of excellence, and average commitment will prevent you from enduring to the end."

Hearing that, I nearly gave up right then. If average is the "enemy of excellence," then I must be the lowest sort of scum on the earth. Within the idea of being average, I have believed also that exceptional was out of my reach. This led to thinking that average is all I will ever be and by default enduring to the end isn't even in the range of my possibilities.

At that time, I felt discouraged and so I quit listening. I thought: I'm not enough and how could I ever be? In that attitude, I continued with my day. But Heavenly Father must have been watching. I can only guess that He might have thrown up His arms whilst shaking His head at my condition. Because then I can imagine Him smiling at an idea. And this is what followed.

I found myself with a few rare moments of alone time with my mother, who I found out quickly, felt similarly discouraged to this idea of average. We discussed how our expectations for ourselves are so high that excellence is virtually unattainable and we should probably take it a little easier on ourselves. Especially when hearing direction like above, we should take stock of our situation and attitude but not jump automatically to the conclusion that this message was obviously to let us know how much we are failing. Because we're not. We're really not.

Sharon Palmer is not a woman I would ever label as average. She is a remarkable person - wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc. Pianist, vocalist, chorister, speech therapist, teacher, writer, Relief Society president, etc. I mean, she earned her Master's degree while working full-time as a speech therapist and keeping her family going. She's written numerous books - some of them more than once. She taught piano off and on all through my growing up. She's always attended our events - concerts, games, etc. She welcomes anyone into her home - sometimes to stay. There were times when she carried our family. Other times she has been known to drag our family. Basically, she's essential to our family! And, she doesn't seem to do anything by halves. She has wisdom and determination beyond her years and silliness to relate to any age. My mom is an EXCEPTIONAL woman.

So when we started discussing how similarly we felt about our "averageness," I was mildly surprised. But it helped me realize that I wasn't alone in this. It even made sense for it to be my mom who I could relate to entirely on this. In this discussion then, we asked, "What is average? How is that even determined?" For me, this is a crucial point. Since we are advised not to compare, average must be determined on a personal level. We each have within us average and exceptional so we have to discover it for ourselves.

What is my average then?

I feel like I bring more questions to these writings than answers. Because I don't yet have a complete answer to what my average is. But I have realized that I'm doing better than I thought. I know I can still improve. I have exceptional and average moments still but I don't think I'm failing like I'd concluded before. I will also continue to look into averages so that I can understand where my excellence begins.

But for now, I guess the real point of this exposition was to brag on my brilliant mother a bit. And to inform anyone else reading this, with similar feelings of average and excellence, that you are doing much better than you think. I'd go so far as to advise acknowledging your excellence! You are exceptional humans! Give yourself a break because you are doing such good work and enjoying your adventures! As it should be!