Friends mean well. Most of the time their advice is impeccable. Sometimes, however, their advice takes a while to sink in - or is still sinking in. Specifically, over the course of the last 7 years, I've had three friends attempt to teach me essentially the same thing but I'm still working on the concept. Originally, the lesson was to be assertive. The next time it was to do what I wanted. Most recently, it came in the form of a diagnosis - I have a Wall of Kindness.
The Wall of Kindness
- definition: barrier or force that prevents mistreatment of others but also promotes service for others always without consideration for myself.
Having a wall of this sort doesn't sound so bad, right? For the most part, it is a blessing. I've gained much in my life from my wall.
- applications:
- The Golden Rule - I strive to do to others what I would have others do to me.
- No matter how people have treated me, I have responded with kindness.
- At my convenience or inconvenience, my kindness continues.
- The result is my living for other people. After a while, I don't know what exactly my own life is made of.
And maybe it's that last part when it becomes a problem. Maybe there could be such a thing as 'too nice' when you don't know who you are anymore. But this has never stopped me. My Wall of Kindness reigns in my life. The Wall is all I've ever known - there's a safety in it as well as a mastery. If I can continue to be kind, I win in many ways. This leads me to believe that kindness isn't all there is.
What I truly seek is balance. The Scales of Kindness sound ideal. Maybe I can be kind without it ruling my life. I will be kind and still be myself. That's my new goal.
