Breaking an ankle is quite an experience. Though I imagine breaking any bone is for that matter. The realization that walking isn't going to be a possibility hits immediately. And, at least for me, I recalled fondly what the use of two good legs was like. Not to mention, I recognized how I had taken for granted some basic but amazing abilities.
Six months ago today, at about this time actually, I was laying in a hospital bed waiting to be taken to surgery to correct the fracture of my fibula and dislocation of my talus (picture below).
It was a journey even getting to the day of surgery but that's not the story I'm telling today. Today is about the Worst Case Scenario.
Leading up to surgery, I had met with the surgeon a few times, as was needed. Some of the complications were making surgery difficult and too risky. There were moments that were easy to take it one step at a time (haha..) and other moments that I lost all hope and ability to see this situation as anything but the worst.
In one of these lower moments, I was reminded of something the doctor had said. He had said that the worst case scenario is that I'd be walking again in 6 months from surgery. It would likely be shorter but 6 months was a guarantee. So I started a countdown in my phone to today.
I'm happy to report that it didn't take 6 months. By March 21st (approx. 2 weeks after surgery), I was cleared to return to work and had a boot to boot. (I'm so funny!) On April 18th, I was given the okay to start putting weight on my foot (my brain objected to such an idea at first but eventually accepted this as a good thing). May 3rd, I started physical therapy and took my first official steps without crutches. And when my last PT appointment (August 7th) came around I was walking on the treadmill in every direction, doing the grapevine across the room, and we had given the boot the boot a month and a half before. (In fact, where did I put it? I don't even remember...)
I can also tell you that some of the absolute worst and some of the positively best moments of my life happened in those 6 months. I experienced so much love from others and for others. And I experienced days that being numb didn't seem like enough to get me through. But what I've learned from all this...whatever is happening right now - whatever you are going through, facing, just barely getting out of bed to deal with, whatever it is - your life has the potential to be completely different in 6 months.
To reach that though, some effort is involved but so is rest and reflection. And it takes choosing every day to move forward. A lot of days feel like a step backward but where you end up is leagues from where you started. There's a chance you won't even know yourself when you get there. I don't fully recognized myself. But there's no part of me that wants to go back. And I'm grateful for the journey, for the continued confusion, and for the people who loved me through it and beyond.
Who knows, maybe you'll end up part cyborg, like me (picture below). Now that is an adventure!
