Adventure #40: Kindness of Strangers

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

My first day at SUU went as expected...a morning full of syllabi designed only to heighten one's stress. As I walked to my job, I reviewed in my mind the semester's worth of work that had been presented in 3 hours. I felt the work weighing on me, not yet having realized these assignments would come one at a time. With each step, I felt more and more alone in the college experience. As I was wondering what I had taken on and how to get out of it, a girl walking my way caught my attention.

She smiled as she introduced herself and turned to walk with me. Her name was Megan. We exchanged small talk about the start of classes, which included the information that this was my first semester. I suspect she already had a sense of that because she was continually upbeat in the conversation. And, without even really knowing me, she reassured me that I could handle whatever college would throw at me.

Then she left and I went to work. After that day, I saw her a few more times on campus. I'm not sure she ever recognized me but remembering her encouragement continues to bring a smile to my face.

This is the power we all have. A power to serve in whatever capacity we find ourselves. If we pay attention, we will see these opportunities to connect with others.

Fast forward about 3 years, I'm still going to SUU. I've moved off campus with some awesome roommates but our apartment is not far enough to make driving worth it. However, on the rainiest day of the year, I would have disagreed. And, even though the apartment was in sight, being completely soaked left me rather cranky.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an umbrella open as my neighbor ran out of her house toward me. I'm amazed how quickly emotions can be flipped. As she approached, my heart swelled with gratitude, where as a moment before I was griping about how wet I was. Cassie held the umbrella for me and mentioned that she would have been out sooner if she'd seen me. I chuckled because her act was already beyond the range of usual human interaction.

We talked until we reached my doorstep. I thanked her and walked in my house with a smile. Out the front window, I watched her run back to her house, thinking about how blessed I was.

How many people do that? See a near stranger out in the storm and rush out to provide whatever assistance they can. But how simple is it to do? I still need to invest in an umbrella for such times!

The start of the following year was one of the worst. My grandma died within a week of New Year's. If there's any person I want to be like, it is her. Geneal Palmer was clever and kind and creative. She radiated positivity, even through the difficulties she faced. My world was a darker place without her. And, I know this applies to anyone who knew her.

During the semester that followed, I started an Institute class. I don't remember which one for sure but the second day of that class, I walked out to find one of the nurses that had helped take care of Grandma. Nicole asked me how Grandma was doing, to which I answered honestly. Nicole expressed her sympathy and added, "She was a great lady, kind to all of us. It was a pleasure to work with her."

I definitely agreed. Well, she gave me a hug and headed to class. And, even though I was sad, it was a refreshing reminder of the goodness I come from.

These are only three examples of the kindnesses I've seen in my life. And, I've been blessed by many more. With this, I'd like to issue a challenge today - take a moment to reflect on the kindness of strangers in your own life. Then go out and pass it on. I promise you adventures if you do.

Enjoy them.

Adventure #39: When Things Go Wrong...Ultimate Edition

"We're a thousand miles from comfort. We have traveled land and sea. But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be." ~ Rather Be, by Clean Bandit

You may have enjoyed when I locked my keys in the car. You may have followed that up with the night my battery died. I should have written about my starter going out and that towing adventure - never park underground at the library. But with everything I've been through with Merlin Perry the First, I figured I'd write about the final journey of that car.

A secondary title for this adventure should be (especially since it is Thanksgiving):

I'm Grateful for My Friend Katie

I'm glad it was Katie I was with before, during, and after the accident. If your car is going to hit a snow/ice patch on the freeway, spin a couple times, hit a barrier, and end up in the median area, it'd best be with someone who will laugh and cry with you through it. Someone who will swear through the scary parts (you'll have to ask her specifics, if you're interested - she tells great stories!). This same someone will alternate being under control then stressed, switching off with you throughout the adventure. And this was MFK for me. She brought me a blanket and Yoda, she talked about boys to keep us distracted, and kept up a list of firsts for the evening.

I've started calling this the "Miracle Accident" in my head for many reasons. When I went to clean out my car, I saw another car from the same night. Compared to that car (hood completely smashed in and air bags deployed), my car looked like Lightning Mcqueen with the parking boot...at least that's what I imagined when I saw the front wheel. So with cartoon reference in mind, it was still a miracle we walked away. And to me, that was all that mattered. Everything else was details to be handled as they came. MFK was alive, she was fine, she was safe. I am still grateful for that.

With car inoperable, we spent a night in Scipio - at the Scipio hotel in fact (Quiet, Clean, and Comfortable). It was a nice place, especially compared to standing in the median while snow loomed ominously. We got ready for bed, put in White Christmas, and fell asleep as best we could. And when the middle of the night came, and sleep chose to evade me, I was grateful to know my best friend was nearby.

The rest of the weekend came and went. We still went to Cedar, where we figured out how to get me places for the week. Two more aspects of the "Miracle" part factored in here. MFK had started carpooling to work and was able to loan me her car for a few days. This was a blessing for me as was starting work at a dealership, which got me a new car relatively smoothly. Miracles all around! And the day I got my new car, MFK graciously gave me a ride to work at Ridiculous o'clock on a Saturday morning. She is truly the best to do that for me!

That was the end of Merlin Perry the First for me. And I've recently returned from another trip to Cedar - uneventful, comparatively. So Merlin Perry the Second works great and I certainly missed my road trip buddy! MFK, when you read this, I'm blessed to have you in my life and this continues to be proven every day.

Enjoy your adventures!

Adventure #38: The Harry Potter Clause

"Who says you can't go home? There's only one place they call me one of their own...There's only one place left I want to go! Who says you can't go home?" ~ Bon Jovi

In Harry Potter, we find out that Harry has to return to the Dursleys once a year to keep his mother's love protecting him. As long as he can call it home, he can renew that protective charm.

I've realized recently that I have a similar enchantment in effect on me. Only I need to go home once a month to renew it. 

Perhaps, that's a exaggeration but when I couldn't make it back to Cedar for 2+ months, I was struggling. And, maybe I can go longer and still be okay. But I know - I experienced it - that I do better when I regularly return home.

Why is that? I'm not entirely sure. Though I do know that I love it there more than any place on earth. And some of my favorite people live there. Often I get to take other favorite people with me! There isn't much else required to recharge - my favorite place and some of my favorite people. 

And every visit is a reminder that, no matter what happens in life, I can always go home.

Adventure #37: When Things Go Wrong...Again

"Always focus on the front windshield and not the rearview mirror." ~ Colin Powell

Some people out there may remember when I locked my keys in the car. Feel free to click the link for a refresher on that situation because I'm about to tell another marvelous story with a similar feeling.

Pictured to the right are Steve (the turtle in the football helmet) and UF (short for Ugly Face - we're not sure what kinda of animal it is). Linsey and I rescued them from quarter machines in Shopko. We did this because I made a list. Because I made this list, my car died in the Shopko parking lot.

The list, for anyone curious, is of 26 things to do because I'm turning 26 on the 26th of this month (Yes, you could say I'm my mother's child in this way). On this list, one of the items was 'buy something out of a quarter machine.' That's what Linsey and I were in pursuit of. And at our first stop, we only acquired a finger light shaped like a tank (something that did come in handy later on). So we decided to check out Shopko's options as well, just as they were closing.

We made it just in time to adopt the lovely creatures seen here (does anyone know what animal UF could possibly be?) Before they could kick us out, we headed back to the car. Still debating the identity of UF, I turned the key to start the car. As Linsey describes it, it sounded like this: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm not going to say I freaked out but I nearly shut down. Linsey leapt straight into action. She immediately called a friend to come jump it and followed that up with a call to her brother to see if it really was the battery. She was the superhero of the evening; I'd probably still be sitting there if I'd been by myself!

Our friend arrived to attempt to jump my car. This included mile-long jumper cables, a difficult side-mount battery, and repeated attempts. Still nothing happened. No lights. No sounds. I even had to lock my doors by hand.

The decision was made to then remove the battery to go get it checked. Around this time, the first kind stranger pulled up, hoping to use his brand new jumper cables. Instead, he was able to loosen and remove the battery for us. Thanking him, we left to go to AutoZone (because it supposedly closed at 11 - no, the one we went to was closing when we got there). Either way, they tested it - bad battery. Then sent us up the road to their store that was open until 11. However, we passed an O'Reilly's with an open sign (we would have gone here originally but thought they closed at 10 - no, they were open until 11. Oh the confusion!) With all that settled, we bought a battery with relative ease...I was still quite out of it but Linsey kept things going - for which, I am most grateful!

But I think we'd nearly reached our limit because, walking out of O'Reilly's, Linsey starts laughing - busting a gut as they say (who says that? I haven't the foggiest!) I looked at her like, "What is happening?" And looking around her, I see a dog driving a car.

Okay, so it was just in the driver's seat but it was staring at us like driving was the most natural thing for it to be doing. His gaze followed us as we laughed our way to Linsey's car. I swear it was judging us as it did so.

In better spirits...at least, in crazier spirits, we returned to Shopko and my car. As dead as when we left, we used the finger light tank to light the way to implant the battery. Part way through this, two more kind strangers walked up with a flashlight to light the necessary area. Having done our best connecting, I went to try the key again.

I think I should interject here...but mostly to procrastinate the reveal. Did it work or didn't it? Maybe I should end this post here and take a poll. Who out there thinks that this is the end of the story? That my car started right up and we went on our way...Or is it possible that there's more to the story? A moral perhaps? Or another joke at least? Oh okay...I'll tell you.

Nothing. The floor lights flashed and disappeared. And as Linsey's describes it, it sounded like this: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I couldn't even think of what to do next. Linsey decided to double check with her brother about the circumstances. And I went in search of the flashlight I was pretty sure I had in the trunk. A few minutes later, we returned to the engine with a new flashlight and motto: "Let your light so shine before men..." And we disconnected the battery again. A few sparks and a pair of protective gloves later, Linsey had implanted the battery yet again. It was during this time that it started to rain and we decided that it would be nice to have lightning strike the battery, if it meant the car would start.

So we've come again to the part where I try to start the car again. But Linsey stops me.

"Wait! Let's pray. I'll say it."

I thought for a moment about a discussion we'd had an hour or so before about how I'd never really been able to see God in car problems. And as I listened to one of my best friends plead for us and for my car, I could feel a connection there. My Heavenly Father was aware of my dead battery. He'd sent kind strangers and thoughtful, capable friends to work miracles in the lonely parking lot.

The prayer ended; I opened the car door.

The lights came on.

I don't think we even needed to start the car to know that our prayer had been answered. But I turned the key, the engine roared, and we released all the tension in our laughter of relief. When we'd gotten all that out, Linsey suggested another prayer. I was more than happy to say it. Heavenly Father was certainly watching out for us and I wanted Him to know how grateful I was for that.

As Linsey wrote on my windshield: We saw a miracle and a dog driving a car! And, this is how a quarter machine quest turns into a hundreds of thousands of dollars battery-implantation excursion.

To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised I escaped without locking my keys in the car during this adventure too!

Adventure #36: Cinematic Adventures

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." -Mr. Magorium

I don't trust movie review sites. One such site gave my favorite movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium a 37% rating. This same site gave Noah a 77% rating. Again, I disagree. At the very least, those number should be switched. And here's why:

Why Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium Is My Favorite Movie

When first seeing Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, I related to the Sock Monkey. He wanted the attention of the Mutant. On some level, I think the Monkey knew the Mutant needed the reminder it's okay to be child-like too.  And, even though the colorful, magical world had already drawn me in, the connection with the Sock Monkey hooked me for the duration.

Since that hook, I've lost count how many times I've seen this movie. And as I grow, I relate to different characters at different times. I've been Molly Mahoney, who is lost and is searching for her full potential. I've been the Mutant, who is so serious in his life, he's forgotten that fun is allowed. I've been Eric, who just wants to make friends and be accepted as he is. I've been Mr. Magorium, whose goal is to bring happiness and create wonder. And I've been the Store - I pout when people leave; I throw a tantrum when things are about to change - good or bad. 

The characters are the #1 reason I keep coming back to this movie.

These characters that I keep coming back for have also given me the best lines. 

• "We must face tomorrow whatever it may hold with determination, joy, and bravery."
• "37 seconds. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds well used is a lifetime."
• "All stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end and when they do, it's only an opportunity for another story to begin."
• "No matter what they tell you, you don't have to stay within the lines."
• "It's you. You're a block of wood." 

With these lines and characters, I can turn to this movie for any emotion. If I want to laugh or cry, if I want to find comfort or learn something, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium covers it all. There's the whimsical nature of the toy store, the seriousness of death, the happiness in growth and discovery, and safety in love.

A vital component in the emotional nature of this story is how the characters go through the grieving process.
 Denial - Mahoney drags Mr. Magorium to the hospital because she thinks he can't be departing.
 Bargaining - Mahoney showing Mr. Magorium what he as to live for, Eric trying to buy the store.
 Anger - Eric's insistence that Mahoney run the store, the Store's temper tantrum.
 Depression - The Store turns black, Mr. Magorium's good-bye scene.
 Acceptance - The block of wood flies, Mahoney discovers her magic.

Putting aside the emotions, logistically, the music is beautiful. For instance, how flowing and fun all the pieces are. And how this music grows with the story. I also love the inclusion of books, games, art, animals, and so many awe-inspiring aspects of human nature.

And so when all of this is combined in one film, there is magic. This magic is reflected in the portrayal of love. This is one movie that has no 'Boy falls for girl and girl for boy' story. However, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium bursting with love. It is found in the devotion the Store has for Mr. Magorium. Also, the kindness exchanged between the Mutant and Mahoney. Eric finds friendship in the Mutant. Mahoney's admiration for Mr. Magorium. Mr. Magorium's treatment of  EVERYONE! They love each other in the most fundamental way - the way that every person needs.

The characters keep me coming back and love keeps the story alive.

One final aspect that puts this movie over the top for me: when Mr. Magorium is in the hospital, Eric brings him an euphonium. An EUPHONIUM! That is the instrument that I play! Does anyone out there even know what that is? Most people don't when I tell them about this fabulous instrument. But this puts it over the top because it's so, so personal. What movie has an euphonium? None, I tell you, none! I can't guarantee that everyone will find a connection that personal but there is something for everyone in this film.

So I suggest everyone watch it and enjoy your adventures!


P.S. This is an euphonium -

Adventure #35: Wall of Kindness

Friends mean well. Most of the time their advice is impeccable. Sometimes, however, their advice takes a while to sink in - or is still sinking in. Specifically, over the course of the last 7 years, I've had three friends attempt to teach me essentially the same thing but I'm still working on the concept. Originally, the lesson was to be assertive. The next time it was to do what I wanted. Most recently, it came in the form of a diagnosis - I have a Wall of Kindness.

The Wall of Kindness

• definition: barrier or force that prevents mistreatment of others but also promotes service for others always without consideration for myself.

Having a wall of this sort doesn't sound so bad, right? For the most part, it is a blessing. I've gained much in my life from my wall. 

• applications: 
• The Golden Rule - I strive to do to others what I would have others do to me.
• No matter how people have treated me, I have responded with kindness.
• At my convenience or inconvenience, my kindness continues.
• The result is my living for other people. After a while, I don't know what exactly my own life is made of.

And maybe it's that last part when it becomes a problem. Maybe there could be such a thing as 'too nice' when you don't know who you are anymore. But this has never stopped me. My Wall of Kindness reigns in my life. The Wall is all I've ever known - there's a safety in it as well as a mastery. If I can continue to be kind, I win in many ways. This leads me to believe that kindness isn't all there is.

What I truly seek is balance. The Scales of Kindness sound ideal. Maybe I can be kind without it ruling my life. I will be kind and still be myself. That's my new goal.

Adventure #34: Kindness

“We are all in this together. We need each other. Oh how we need each other! Those of us who are old need you who are young, and hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. Those friendships are a necessary source of sustenance. ~ Majorie Hinckley

It may be cheating but, for this entry, I've chosen to reference a portion of a talk I recently gave. I apologize to those who have heard/read it already - if you skip about four paragraphs you'll find new material. Enjoy!

I personally love fruit snacks and I eat them in order of least favorite to favorite. For whatever reason, I didn’t think anyone else ate them this way. But My Friend Katie does and I’ll never forget the time I found that out. It was a bad day. I don’t remember the details of what happened; I just know it wasn’t a good day. I’d finally reached the end of the day and My Friend and I were watching shows, hiding from the world. After telling Katie all about the catastrophic day, she kindly offered me one of the fruit snacks she’d been eating.

“You can have one of my purple fruit snacks if you want. You sound like you need it,” she said.

“Thanks!” And I paused. “Purple? Is it because you don’t like those?” I asked.

“No, they’re my favorite.”

Not my worst moment but I realized that I automatically assumed that I would the least important fruit snack. So not a shining moment either. I was touched actually – she’d give me her favorite flavor when she could have given others. One should never assume they are getting the least because to the giver it could be the greatest they have. And this is something we all need to remember – whatever kindness we receive from others may be the best of what they have to give.

Which brings me to today (June 9), MFK's birthday. Throughout all the celebrating we had been doing, we'd reached a point where we were feasting on some gummy bears at a friend's house. After getting a handful of bears, Katie holds out her hands to me.

"Eat the blue ones!" she insisted. That is a command I'm unlikely to turn down. I love blue gummies.

Happily, I agreed, "Okay! I won't say no to that!"

And I proceeded to pick out the blue gummy bears.  I don't know for sure if Katie really didn't like the blue ones -or the more likely option- she gave them to me because she knows they are my favorite. Either way, the gesture was a kindness.

As a VeggieTales episode would conclude: "And so what we have learned applies to our lives today..." We've learned two things: MFK and I love gummy snacks but equally important both stories are lessons in kindness. The first shows that if we give the best we have, then the result will hopefully be accepted gratefully and will produce happiness. The second then is, we can better apply kindness when we get to know those around us. These are some things we ought to remember.

And as always, Happy Birthday Donald Duck and My Friend Katie!

(P.S. Look for next month's entry on the Wall of Kindness. See you then!)