Adventure #51: Fairytales

"Sandwiched between their 'Once Upon A Time' and 'Happily Ever After' they all experience great adversity." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Sometimes I wonder if people are even paying attention. And then, I realize how many things I miss on a daily basis. Only one conclusion can be reached: I know no one is paying attention. One such instant blindsided me. I was sitting in a marriage-prep class (a rare moment itself) and the teacher begins criticizing fairytales. By the of the "discussion" on "unrealistic expectations" and "you can't marry someone to change them," I was convinced she'd never actually watched or read a fairytale in her life.

Whether or not she had is somewhat irrelevant because her words lit a fire in my mind. Agree or disagree, she'd gotten me thinking (a dangerous pastime, I know). Isn't that the goal of all teachers? So research and ponder, I did!

When I hit upon the quote above, I started relating all fairytales I knew to it (mostly Disney but a few others). In these stories, before anyone even got close to a Happily Ever After, there were floors to be scrubbed and dishes to wash. There was yelling and crying and hiding. There was pain and loss (I'm talking about more than just shoes here, people). They faced malice and opposition and misunderstandings. They were under-appreciated and under-estimated. The couples were often separated and had to search and fight to be reunited.

Perhaps, in the end, each of the couples could have benefitted from some couples counseling but, having faced adversity before their Happily Ever After began, meant that they already knew they were stronger together. And, with that in mind, they were in no way disillusioned that life would be sunshine and rainbows from that point on - we just didn't have access to that part of the story. Through this they learned to face whatever came...together.

If memory serves, one of the teacher's points in this section of the lesson was, "Don't marry the Beast because you think you can change him." I agree with the statement but it doesn't actually fit the story. The Beast had already been changed and he was suffering because of it. While it took some effort, patience, and kindness on the part of Belle, she saw the goodness of the soul behind the aching facade. This in no way excuses his behavior - he could have treated Belle and others around him much better. He could have reacted much better to his situation than he did. But aren't we all guilty of that?

What happens if we just believe in the people around us?

Surprises, in the form of miracles, happen constantly.

I understand that all of this changes based on the circumstances but fairytales exist to help us learn to face whatever comes. That, in these varying circumstances, no matter how scary, we can be brave and true and, most of all, kind. We should gather from their adventures what wisdom we can and apply that wisdom as we enjoy our adventures. And, this is what that teacher seemed to have missed entirely.

Adventure #50: I'm Back!

"Sometimes the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while."

Because of my absence the past couple months, I've decided to write a post every week this month instead of just once. My goal is every Monday in November (since that covers my usual day - the 9th). So keep an eye out. As for today, here's a thought that started sometime in October about a few things I've missed!

Here's the dumb thing about today: Nostalgia. Every year, about this time - in the autumns of infinite promise - this longing begins anew. It doesn't crave any specific place or time but instead yearns for those whose lives intertwined with mine but have since ceased. I get nostalgic for people.

Most often, I'm grateful for this remembrance. I look at my life knowing I was blessed, even for a moment, by the influence of these glorious people. And, then my heart recognizes the loss. The love for them echoes through the space left there by our interactions.

I miss playing Star Wars Stratego with you and riding our bikes to the library and swimming pool. And, how you knew my mind and heart and considered me.

I miss texting you in every instant that we couldn't be together. And, how you'd used our nicknames and inside jokes so entirely. And, our superhero moments and how comfortable we were at our best.

I miss the Norweigian you wrote with the magnets on our fridge and making mango cookies. And, how you would say, "What had happened was..." And, your opinions on films and how we could talk about that stuff for so long.

There are more. There are SO many more! Because I have been loved and have been blessed to love. I know that is why I long for people. And, I'm grateful to be missing you.

Adventure #49: Guest Post - Storytelling

by Sharon Palmer

This was a blog post on my “50 Things to do While I am 50” Blog written three years
ago. It is as pertinent today as it was then. Enjoy.

It has long been my opinion that God is the greatest storyteller. He is the example for the rest of us
storytellers. He creates his characters, a world for them to populate, and gives them a problem to solve. He knows the beginning and the end of the story and, through the gift of their free agency, allows His characters to write the middle. Just when His characters are feeling good about themselves and the world they live in, He throws in plot twists to help them grow and discover more about themselves and their world, and ultimately to become like Him, a divine creator of stories.

I suppose, thinking about it, in any act of creation, be it storytelling, art, music, or imaginative play, God would be that greatest. Each subject has its medium, its own laws to govern the project, its own point where the creator spins it into being, guiding it, never forcing it, to its completion. We all know that a project that is forced rings false. Truth is the purpose of creation.

Any of us who have participated in a creation realize that God is not a manipulator. WE, as creators, are not manipulators. The story, the painting, the sculpture, the symphony, has a say in its own creation. It is no accident that creators say their pieces speak to them or uncover themselves to the creators.

As a creator I am delighted when my creation takes on a life of its own and surprises me with ideas that I hadn’t considered, but once presented, make sense and the story couldn’t be as wonderful without them.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to create. It is the closest thing to being God that I have. Well, except for being a parent, which is a whole other blog post.



Author Biography:

Sharon Palmer is a Speech-Language Pathologist, a freelance writer, and a philosophical wonderer. She has a husband and three daughters who keep her grounded and on the moral straight and narrow. You can find her philosophical wonderings at alighttotheworld.blogspot.com.

Adventures-To-Be

Dear Readers and Self,

You may have noticed that there is not a post this month...well, not to make excuses (I'm about to make some excuses) but due to an increase in responsibilities, I'm going to put this writing on hold. This hiatus will last until -at least- Oct 9th but possibly Nov 9th. Upon my return, you can expect to hear a bit about change and a bit about moving forward and a bit about magic and love. Most of these things, I've touched on previously but I've gained some new perspective that perhaps might interest you. Thank you for your understanding and I will see you in the fall!

Enjoy your adventures,
Melody

Adventure #48: Importance

Moses 1:10: "And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."

Frustration with humanity has been a thing for me lately and I've been trying to figure out why. At work the other day, I was so frustrated that I was in tears. I would have crawled under my desk to get away from the world except I was the only there to answer the phones at the time (sometimes responsibility is very grounding. Other times (the majority of the time), I wish I could escape it). Nevertheless, I was rooted there until relief came.

The cause of such a state was a boss's boss lecturing me on how to put people on hold. The matter seems truly trivial at this point...but back then it was a last straw sort of moment. And the rest of the day did not get any better. But somewhere in the day, perhaps an hour or so later, I had an epiphany - what I've been calling a miracle moment.

Somewhere between wanting to crawl under my desk, crying and flipping a table to storm out, I realized it didn't actually bother me. Or at least I knew that I was in a position to not let it bother me. I was doing my best and I will continue to do so as long as I work there. And while I still did get lost on occasion through the intensity of certain phone calls and conflicting demands, that realization carried me through the rest of the day. I love that even in the worst of days there are miracle moments.

Amid processing this, my thoughts went to the question: "What makes him more important that me? And why, for the love of mustard, is putting people on hold such a big deal?" But mostly the first question. In the grand scheme of things, neither him nor I have even an ounce of importance. That's when the scripture above came to mind. And I remember feeling similar to Moses, in that I never had supposed the nothingness of man to that degree.

These were the thoughts that freed me that day. I was surprised at just how freeing it was to be nothing and to realize I wasn't any more or less as all the other humans. Because this also led to discovering that even if I am nothing, I am something to the Being that is everything. To be loved by Someone so much bigger than myself must mean I'm okay or at least I have plenty of potential to be.

Mostly it was just nice to level the playing field and to learn that, just as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Adventure #47: Sharing Food

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart." ~ Cesar Chavez

So, unlike Joey from Friends, I do share food. I also love it when people share with me. With that in mind, here's what I've noticed about sharing food:

• The offer, even if it isn't accepted, always puts a smile on the faces of those involved.
• When we are at a loss for what to do for someone, we provide food.
• Since food is one of the basic necessities of survival, giving food to someone is saying, "I want you to survive. Take what I have to help you live because I want you to stay alive. That's how much you mean to me."
• It never ceases to amaze me how often I feel fuller by sharing.

The quote at the top also expresses the sentiment, "the people who give you their food give you their heart." Cheesy? Nice way to top a pizza at least? Perhaps, but all the same it is true. There's a reason that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I submit that that actually applies to all humans. And the opposite side to that then is that those doing the sharing, also share their heart as the quote states. 

Therefore...

When I offer you food:

• Take it.
• If you are not actually hungry or truly despise the dish, politely (or impolitely - I won't tell you entirely how to live your life...) refuse. I will understand but I will probably try to find something else you would like.
• Do not feel guilty accepting. Ever. I am willing to share both to be kind and because I care about you. I extend the offer because I want you to live and I will help that continue however I can.
• I will offer food when I find out you are going through a hard time. In many ways, this is my version of hugging. I can't always tell if a person would be open to a hug in that instant so I will take another route to help - through food.
• Finally, AND THIS IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE, if I ever say to you, "Would you like a blue fruit snack?" you can be assured that you mean the world to me. Blue fruit snacks are the rarest and most favorite of all the foods. If I ever give you one, that means you are set with me - I will care about you forever.

This has been another installment of Sharing is Caring. Tune in next time when we interview those crazies to turn down food from their friends...

(PS: If you ever offer me blue food - especially in fruit snack form - you'll will probably never be able to get rid of me from that point on. Blue food is commitment food. So be prepared.)

Adventure #46: Gears

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." ~Charles M. Schulz

The design of gears is that they are simultaneously moving toward and away from each other as they turn. While I think this is a fascinating fact, it makes me wonder if there are times in our lives that we have to move away from some things as we progress toward others. Perhaps, like gears, we'll come full circle, thus returning to the original point.

Also I wonder, like the gears, if we ever fully know the purpose for our turning. Gears definitely don't see their place in the passing of the time on the giant clock or in the rushing of the amusement park ride for the guests' enjoyment. Without gears, we couldn't open cans or listen to a music box. In this way, perhaps, we are gears that play a part in the movement of the universe.

This then leads me to the conclusion that a single gear does not a machine make. We need one another to move us, inspire us to move. Just as a single gear on its own has little or no effect, we can have a greater impact when we connect with others and together get the gears turning. That's when the adventures begin.