Adventure #19: The Zigzag

“Previous journeys in search of treasure have taught me that a zigzag strategy is the best way to get ahead.”  ~ Tahir Shah

There's a post somewhere on the Internet that describes lines. These lines spoke to me as more than math terms. Though I love math, I gained insight that I had not expected to procure. In this gathering, I decided it's something I'd like to share. Here is good. And I suppose I ought to start with the concept itself:

• Parallel lines have a lot in common but they never meet. Ever. You might think that's sad.
• But every other pair meets once and then drifts apart forever. Which is pretty sad too.

I agree that both of the line scenarios are sad. This was made sadder when I thought that maybe life was like this - do people, who have a lot in common, never meet? Do we have people enter our lives for a fleeting adventure, never to be seen again? Unfortunately, I believe both happen. Which is why I am grateful for those in my life who have done The Zigzag.

To renew in life, we can zig when expected to zag. Sometimes we reverse it. Often we enjoy connecting with those who will also zig when we expect them to zag. I propose that in the best relationships the zigging and zagging unite the principles of parallel lines with lines that only meet once.

Consider the following illustration:

 

When the blue and purple lines are traced, the places they intersect as well as the parallel sections are blatant. But the beautiful part? The blue and purple lines are traveling together! They remain clearly themselves. They connect. They have plenty in common. They continually renew and refresh through unexpected zigging and zagging. And through it all, they grow together. That's the beautiful part!

The inspiration of The Zigzag came from a dear friend, who often zigs when I expect her to zag. We are currently traveling together - we remain ourselves - we connect - we have plenty in common - and we refresh through unexpected zigging and zagging. I have grown because of that friendship. And while The Zigzag can vary in size as well as apply to a variety of relationships, this friend is proof that The Zigzag does work.

Adventure #18: Something Funny

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." ~ Victor Borge

The urge to write something funny led me to ponder moments in which I've laughed and what about them I found humorous. For instance, the time my roommates, Amanda and Brittany, were learning about asymptotes.
 "You're an asymptote!" Brittany called Amanda.
 "Can't touch this! Dun un un un..." was Amanda's response.
I'm sure my nerdy side factors into my love of this exchange but, between these two, this is most memorable for me. Perhaps, it is only funny to those who know that an asymptote is a function that gets closer and closer to a specific point but never crosses it. The beautiful part to me is that they had learned enough about the concept to make the joke - they certainly are the clever sort!

Another time, I was doing a puzzle with my roommate, Linsey. The clue for the word was "Food Vessel." In my honest-to-goodness best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, I looked at Linsey, flexed, and said, "It's ver you vessel with your food." Her response was contagious, in that we laughed for what felt like hours. It made me think: Yeah, every once in a while, I have a good line.

One further example of laughter is with my current roommate, Katie. While enjoying the company of my family one evening, the laughter couldn't be held in. MFK (this is what I call Katie) was especially infectious in her energy. I thought I might attempt to stopper the insanity...or perhaps contribute.
 "You're weird," I said, eyes crinkling.
 "Yeah, so?" MFK responded.
 "Lychee!" I pronounced.
 "Oooooooooooooommmmmmmmm," Katie concluded, going zen.
This conversation may not make sense others; after all, it didn't completely to us. But I'm pretty sure that people overhearing most conversations I have with MFK won't connect things coherently. So anyone eavesdropping will need a road map back to intelligibility.

I live in a realm of hilarity. I hope everyone does - humor is a necessity in every life. To laugh is to live in the moment, fearing nothing and hoping everything. So, as my sister Miranda once said, "Can I put a smiley face on here in all seriousness?" :)

Adventure #17: Emotions

“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ~ Oscar Wilde

In relation to emotions, I've been wondering what way is the best to respond to them. There seems to be two schools of thought in my life on this topic.

• Experience each emotion as it comes, good and bad, just let them consume you.
• Ignore bad emotions completely, shun them, push them away entirely.

 Such views are not comprehensive. In fact, I believe that neither one is wholly right.

Problem with #1: Like the quote above states, this leaves a person at the mercy of one's emotions. That may work if you never have to interact with others but it's difficult to be a part of a society if you have no idea what your emotional state may be at a given instant.

Problem with #2: A person attempting this drastically increases the risk of becoming numb, of essentially turning off a range of their humanity. The saddest part is, without the bad, the experience of the good is decreased. Loving is harder, joy is lessened, and life becomes blah itself.

Acquired from discoveries of late, I've learned that I quite agree with Mr. Wilde's sentiments. I want to use my emotions - enjoy them - dominate them. To do this, I think I'll practice a balance of the two strategies I've discussed here as well look into new approaches to embracing the emotional struggle that is being human.

Good luck to all of you out there doing the same!

Adventure #16: I Love You

When you say, I love you, you are making a promise with someone else’s heart, try to honor it. 

 I - When said, you incorporate yourself. This is where the commitment starts and you are making the commitment. It's you; you are promising something, something beautiful and dangerous. The power of this undertaking is real and is made personal by the inclusion of yourself.

Love - In a basic English class, we learn that this is a verb. Simply, this is what we do. Since actions speak louder than words, the act of confessing love, on whatever level, is the start of an excellent expedition. In order to fulfill such, your actions must envelop you, consume you, until you cease to be. During the journey of loving another person, you become love itself.

You - They are the most important part; whoever receives your words is the most important part. By your words, you are connecting hearts and joining destinies for even just an instant. It is in these instances, the beauty and danger arise. As the quote says, you are making a promise with someone else's heart. While it isn't always easy to live up to this, the only joy you'll have is in the adventure of love.

Adventure #15: Running Away Versus Walking Away

Running away from problems or troubles will make you fall into another problem or trouble. ~Raghav Singh  versus Sometimes you just gotta hold your head, smile, and walk away. ~Unknown

Is there a difference between running away from something and walking away from something? For instance, facing a life-altering decision and instead of making it, run away.... Or facing the same decision, walk away. With this concept in mind, is one or the other better? 

For whatever reason, I've always viewed running away as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not facing a problem because it's unbearable and therefore running, fast and far. No thought of returning; no indication of the future ahead.

Walking away removes the permanence, instead giving a problem necessary distance but the opportunity for a tomorrow. A length of time in which one thinks and redirects; enough that it gives the solver a moment or day or week of contemplative perspective.

However, my thoughts are not conclusive and now I wonder what others think. What do you think?

Adventure #14: Appearance

Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance.  ~Jean de La Fontaine

I don't want to be pretty...I don't want to be ugly...I want to be myself. This is a battle I've faced my whole life. I acknowledge that this is a plight of human nature and that to be "oneself" many people improve their appearance. That's great for them; but I won't.

People have entered my life mostly in simple ways; many of them have helped me to be a better person. Most have helped me to be smarter. Many have made me laugh. Several have introduced new things that I can no longer live without. And a select few did decide that it was their responsibility to make me more "myself" with make-up, hair-dos, and new clothes. I realize that they had good intentions but I feel that they didn't know the real me because if they did, there would have been no need for their "improvements." As hard as they tried, nearly nothing they did has stuck.

This isn't to say I haven't changed or improved; I think I've done plenty of both. But all of that has happened on my own terms, at least terms I'm comfortable with. And now I've arrived at my point - if you're not you on your own terms, then you are selling out. This idea is how I've always felt. Yes, be yourself. Yes, be beautiful, if that's who you are. Yes, be plain, if that's who you are. But always BE you.

So, as for me, I'm not myself if I do my hair every day. I'm not myself if I even wear mascara. I'm not myself if I spend more than twenty minutes in the bathroom to get ready for the day. But that's just me. And, all I want is to be myself.

Adventure #13: Being Scared

Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real. ~Author Unknown

When I was 16, I was scared to get my driver's license. I almost refused to learn to drive. Looking back now, it is one of my greatest blessings to know how to drive. Driving is also one of my favorite things to do! 

Similarly, I recently graduated from Southern Utah University with a degree in Elementary Education. I'm scared of getting a job teaching. Right now, the prospect seems the most terrifying of anything I could be doing. But I wonder if I just do it (as Nike says), maybe teaching will turn into something I love as much as driving.

But this is only one type of being scared.

As far as being scared by something jumping out or some such thing, one of my favorite and least favorite stories can be used to explain. I once went camping with a group of girls to my friend's cabin. This cabin had an outhouse which seemed like no big deal until it was dark and I had to use it. Swallowing what seemed like irrational fears, I walk over to the outhouse, open the latched door, and look upon a dummy (who's name, i found out later, is Maestro). Well, I didn't even react out loud...my heart was pounding...i nearly peed my pants...but I didn't make a noise. And instead just returned to the fire.

Still I had business to do! Since I didn't make a noise, no one knew I'd been over there. So when I mentioned that I still needed to use the outhouse, one of the other girls suggest I 'just do it' (again Nike). Well, my retort was snappy, "Why don't you do it?" Very clever on my part, I'd say. She walked over, open the latched door, and screamed! Her reaction got the attention of everyone. Once calmed down, my part of the story was told, consoled, and mocked. I did get to use it finally but refused until the dummy was hundreds of feet away.

There have been many other times I've experience fear of one type or another.

But the thing I'll never understand is people scaring themselves for fun. Last year with a group composed of roommates and friends, we decided to go to a haunted corn maze - that we had to wait in line for like 2 hours to get into. So, not only were we facing scaring ourselves, we also had to wait and not change our minds. I don't know about the rest of the world but my imagination is the worst part of these experiences. Though I think at least of my roommates would agreed because she was screaming and running away from things before we even entered the maze (and yes, this roommate attached herself to my other roommate who still has a scar from the experience).

My long-winded point is: all of these stories illustrate a key point that Nike summed up this way - Just Do It! Getting a driver's license, starting a career, using a scary outhouse, and waiting for hours to get through a haunted corn maze...In the end, after getting past resistance and for best results, DOn't quIT!