Adventure #56: Generic Goodbye Letter

“Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.” ~ Trey Parker

I debated starting off this new year with goodbyes. But since I believe that the ‘good’ in goodbye is the opportunity for the next hello, as stated in my first blog post, which you can read here as a refresher, I came to the conclusion that goodbyes were actually an excellent place to start. So here we are.

What I didn’t discuss previously was the risk that comes with every goodbye. There’s a likelihood in every parting that there will not be another hello. There is also a chance that the goodbye is coupled with a permanent change. Like when someone moves, be it friends or parents or whoever, there’s still hellos in the future but circumstances are permanently altered, hence a permanent goodbye.

When my bishop was released last year, there was quite the upheaval in the equilibrium of that ward. Was it all negative? No. Was it lasting? Yes. I am grateful for both bishoprics? Absolutely. Goodbyes were said and so were hellos.

Many more things happened, mostly with people moving, like moving myself to a new town and and friends moving to different states and my parents buying a new house. But all were filled with goodbyes and hellos. And my life is permanently different.

And in some ways this is the hardest part for a person like me. I prefer consistency. I like things how they’ve always been, especially when they work. And I like it when the people I care about stick around. But that is not the nature of things that grow, that is not the nature of earth life. To grow, we must change. We’ll be stretched and find our limits but we will also find that most limits can’t actually hold us. It’s up to us to say when enough is enough.

Because of this learning, growing, changing life, I hope I find that for myself. That, in the coming year, I end up somewhere completely unexpected, living life better than I did last year (and I’m proud of how last year turned out. So that might be a taller order than I thought). But more on this another time.

I have one more thought on goodbyes, I’ve written a Generic Goodbye Letter. With permanence in mind, I wrote what my heart seems to say with every goodbye to anyone and anything. And if when you read it, you’ve felt the same way, feel free to share any stories you have with me. Also, if you need to use a copy of it at any point, please do, especially if it’ll help with your goodbyes.

I rarely can bring myself to say even the word goodbye. Goodbyes are the reason I started using, ‘Enjoy your adventures.’ And so that’s how I conclude here.

Enjoy your goodbye adventures.

Generic Goodbye Letter

Dear Sir or Madam,

I will miss you. Our time together has meant the world to me. I’m so glad I was able to meet you and learn from you. Because, for what seems to be the better, your influence has help shaped who I am. And this is what makes it most difficult for me to let you go.

I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want to forget who I was with you. I don’t want to forget our time together. We spent our adventures, mostly laughing. And when there were tears, we were together.

But that is not the case any further. I understand the reasons that both time and space must separate us. Our paths weren’t meant to be connected forever. However, the part of me created by our time spent together remains. And I am grateful for it.

Thank you for your time. It is and was a valuable commodity. I continue to feel the privilege of that gift. Thank you for your support. I knew that I could come to you for both comfort and motivation. You were there for me and I was blessed for it.

Finally, I hope you find the same thing in your pursuits. On whatever road you take, I hope there will be people to give you hope and courage. I pray you discover the strength or peace or whatever it is you are looking for. And most of all, I’m cheering for you, from here to the moon and back, with all the love I have.

Enjoy your adventures.

Warmest regards,

Me

Adventure #55: Transitioning

"You ready?" - Lorelai
"No." - Rory
"You ready?" - Lorelai
"Yes." - Rory
(Gilmore Girls)

In classes to become an elementary school teacher, we are advised to give children time to transition from one activity to the next. This is usually done with a procedure set up at the start of the year and is consistently followed so that students are trained and comfortable with the process but also so that learning moves at a fluid pace and less time is wasted...in theory.

Something similar has been used on me. Several of my friends have instigated the use of "transition words." Perhaps, they thought I was unaware that it was time to leave or say good night or whatever. But I was always aware, just unwilling to remove myself from the comforting presence of one I love. Each one, though, knew it was necessary and thoughtfully prepared me for the goodbye. And, even though I didn't want to be any sort of burden or inconvenience, each transition word, whether 'okay' or 'alright' or 'therefore,' came with a twinge of sadness.

I'm grateful, however, for the warning. In fact, the use of transition words became a tool for me. Like a child given the five minute signal, I knew I had a limited time to say or do the important things before the goodbye. This example has been portrayed on a grander scale for me this year. 2016 has been the year of 'prepare yourself' and every other month seemed to have had a drawn out 'soooo' attached to it.

I don't know if I've made the best use of my transitional periods or not. Even if you know you have one or two or four months before your friend is leaving, how can you know the time you were given was used adequately? Even if your parents are moving a month from now and you're not freaking out yet (which is a reaction everyone expects of you, even yourself), in fact you're excited for them, what happens when the freak out comes?

I've done more this year to change my life than any year previous. Starting Kung Fu, asking a boy out on a date, moving (same city, just a change of scenery), reading several books on boundaries and beginning to apply unheard of concepts, encouraging my best friend to move (and then discouraging it because I'm confusing and a conundrum and selfish), encouraging my parents to move (and as mentioned not panicking yet...) I'm proud of what's happened, both what I've done for myself and how I've handled things that come my way.

Mercifully, I have had transitional periods for all of these things though. They were built up to and I was able to rely on a step-by-step nature to the major changes especially. I can say I wasn't always graceful; I can definitely say I had stubborn moments, still do even. I can also attest to the fact that as I was willing to listen, God prepared me for each step. And He has been with me through everything -EVERYTHING - to get me here.

But this is a lesson that I'm relearning constantly. Life happens in transitional periods. Change is always looming but Heavenly Father prepares us if we align ourselves with His will. I can feel changes still coming but He always sends a transition word. And if I'm listening, I'll hear it and be prepared for all the adventures ahead.

Adventure #53: Being a Palmer

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W.C. Fields

No one knows who or what they're going to be before they are born. Parents can dream and imagine for you...maybe you'll be a genius, maybe an athlete, maybe a genius athlete. But at the very beginning, it's all undetermined. Except one thing: your name. I'm not referencing a first name but the name you have in common with parents and grandparents and various others who came before. As for myself, I'm a proud Palmer.

I didn't realize how proud until recently. I suppose weddings bring out all sorts of emotions, including pride and gratitude. Looking around the temple to see uncles, aunts, and cousins is a special sight. And it got me thinking...how blessed am I?

The answer? So blessed!

I was given the opportunity to grow up surrounded by this amazing extended family. Every Sunday spent at Grandma and Grandpa's - playing with cousins, being teased by uncles, laughing with aunts. Camping, fishing, adventuring - all of that time spent connecting and exploring truly important aspects of life. I realize not every moment was sunshine and rainbows but no matter what happened, we all seemed to realize we were in this together. And that has given me much to think about over the course of my life.

In many ways, I have been shaped by these interactions. I've seen kindness and humor shared. I've seen how each of my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins accept and embrace the people they come in contact with. I've watched how they deal with tragedy and disappointment in a realistic but faithful manner. They are the type of people who can make the best of any situation and choose to in every situation. Hundreds or thousands of my most memorable moments have been spent with the Palmer's.

I wish I could take the time required to adequately relay the lifetime of those moments. But each Sunday afternoon spent in Grandma and Grandpa's backyard is its own adventure. And the Saturdays of fishing trips, Easter camping outings, 4th of July and Labor Day parades, BBQ's, birthdays, get togethers just because we missed each other... I treasure every second spend in the presence of these glorious humans.

It doesn't seem like enough to just thank the whole family for being such a positive influence in my life. I hope to one day individualize that message. But for now know that I love and respect each of you. I admire your generosity and perseverance. And, as a Palmer, I am who I am because how each of you have touched my life.

I am enjoying my adventures with you all and I hope you are too. 

Adventure #52: Christmas Carols

"Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled." -Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Singing at our ward Christmas party was a rare treat. It was simple and low-key and full of joy. We sang everything from "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" to "O Holy Night." The unplanned nature of the time spent caroling around the piano made it feel like a family gathered just to celebrate the joyful season. And perhaps it was these circumstances that were the perfect setting for the thoughts that came as we sang "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing."

The line written above had been sung by me probably once a year since I could sing. But I've never realized quite what it meant. And, especially what it meant to me. To be reconciled is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. And what must it be like to be reconciled with my Creator! I've had glimpses of what that's like and I look forward to its completion. I recognize that such glimpses are due to the Savior that came and His part in bridging God and sinners. It wouldn't be possible to feel that peace and joy without Him.

This is a familiar testimony, stated many times throughout the world and the ages. And for me it continues to grow, influenced by those around me and the testimony they share, like in the instance of singing carols with my lovely ward which led to realizing what it means for God and sinners to be reconciled. So this Christmas season and as we start another year afresh, I just would like to add a few of my thoughts. 

I know that our Savior and Redeemer was born into this world to bridge us sinners with the Lord Omnipotent. That through His saving grace and infinite atonement, we can always start again, be renew, and be reconciled. As we allow Him into our lives, He has the chance to guide and strengthen us and give us opportunities to grow that we can experience in no other way. He is the source of peace for this earth and is the bridge and key to our return to our Heavenly Father.

May He bless all your adventures for the coming year!

Adventure #51: Fairytales

"Sandwiched between their 'Once Upon A Time' and 'Happily Ever After' they all experience great adversity." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Sometimes I wonder if people are even paying attention. And then, I realize how many things I miss on a daily basis. Only one conclusion can be reached: I know no one is paying attention. One such instant blindsided me. I was sitting in a marriage-prep class (a rare moment itself) and the teacher begins criticizing fairytales. By the of the "discussion" on "unrealistic expectations" and "you can't marry someone to change them," I was convinced she'd never actually watched or read a fairytale in her life.

Whether or not she had is somewhat irrelevant because her words lit a fire in my mind. Agree or disagree, she'd gotten me thinking (a dangerous pastime, I know). Isn't that the goal of all teachers? So research and ponder, I did!

When I hit upon the quote above, I started relating all fairytales I knew to it (mostly Disney but a few others). In these stories, before anyone even got close to a Happily Ever After, there were floors to be scrubbed and dishes to wash. There was yelling and crying and hiding. There was pain and loss (I'm talking about more than just shoes here, people). They faced malice and opposition and misunderstandings. They were under-appreciated and under-estimated. The couples were often separated and had to search and fight to be reunited.

Perhaps, in the end, each of the couples could have benefitted from some couples counseling but, having faced adversity before their Happily Ever After began, meant that they already knew they were stronger together. And, with that in mind, they were in no way disillusioned that life would be sunshine and rainbows from that point on - we just didn't have access to that part of the story. Through this they learned to face whatever came...together.

If memory serves, one of the teacher's points in this section of the lesson was, "Don't marry the Beast because you think you can change him." I agree with the statement but it doesn't actually fit the story. The Beast had already been changed and he was suffering because of it. While it took some effort, patience, and kindness on the part of Belle, she saw the goodness of the soul behind the aching facade. This in no way excuses his behavior - he could have treated Belle and others around him much better. He could have reacted much better to his situation than he did. But aren't we all guilty of that?

What happens if we just believe in the people around us?

Surprises, in the form of miracles, happen constantly.

I understand that all of this changes based on the circumstances but fairytales exist to help us learn to face whatever comes. That, in these varying circumstances, no matter how scary, we can be brave and true and, most of all, kind. We should gather from their adventures what wisdom we can and apply that wisdom as we enjoy our adventures. And, this is what that teacher seemed to have missed entirely.

Adventure #48: Importance

Moses 1:10: "And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."

Frustration with humanity has been a thing for me lately and I've been trying to figure out why. At work the other day, I was so frustrated that I was in tears. I would have crawled under my desk to get away from the world except I was the only there to answer the phones at the time (sometimes responsibility is very grounding. Other times (the majority of the time), I wish I could escape it). Nevertheless, I was rooted there until relief came.

The cause of such a state was a boss's boss lecturing me on how to put people on hold. The matter seems truly trivial at this point...but back then it was a last straw sort of moment. And the rest of the day did not get any better. But somewhere in the day, perhaps an hour or so later, I had an epiphany - what I've been calling a miracle moment.

Somewhere between wanting to crawl under my desk, crying and flipping a table to storm out, I realized it didn't actually bother me. Or at least I knew that I was in a position to not let it bother me. I was doing my best and I will continue to do so as long as I work there. And while I still did get lost on occasion through the intensity of certain phone calls and conflicting demands, that realization carried me through the rest of the day. I love that even in the worst of days there are miracle moments.

Amid processing this, my thoughts went to the question: "What makes him more important that me? And why, for the love of mustard, is putting people on hold such a big deal?" But mostly the first question. In the grand scheme of things, neither him nor I have even an ounce of importance. That's when the scripture above came to mind. And I remember feeling similar to Moses, in that I never had supposed the nothingness of man to that degree.

These were the thoughts that freed me that day. I was surprised at just how freeing it was to be nothing and to realize I wasn't any more or less as all the other humans. Because this also led to discovering that even if I am nothing, I am something to the Being that is everything. To be loved by Someone so much bigger than myself must mean I'm okay or at least I have plenty of potential to be.

Mostly it was just nice to level the playing field and to learn that, just as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Adventure #47: Sharing Food

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart." ~ Cesar Chavez

So, unlike Joey from Friends, I do share food. I also love it when people share with me. With that in mind, here's what I've noticed about sharing food:

• The offer, even if it isn't accepted, always puts a smile on the faces of those involved.
• When we are at a loss for what to do for someone, we provide food.
• Since food is one of the basic necessities of survival, giving food to someone is saying, "I want you to survive. Take what I have to help you live because I want you to stay alive. That's how much you mean to me."
• It never ceases to amaze me how often I feel fuller by sharing.

The quote at the top also expresses the sentiment, "the people who give you their food give you their heart." Cheesy? Nice way to top a pizza at least? Perhaps, but all the same it is true. There's a reason that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I submit that that actually applies to all humans. And the opposite side to that then is that those doing the sharing, also share their heart as the quote states. 

Therefore...

When I offer you food:

• Take it.
• If you are not actually hungry or truly despise the dish, politely (or impolitely - I won't tell you entirely how to live your life...) refuse. I will understand but I will probably try to find something else you would like.
• Do not feel guilty accepting. Ever. I am willing to share both to be kind and because I care about you. I extend the offer because I want you to live and I will help that continue however I can.
• I will offer food when I find out you are going through a hard time. In many ways, this is my version of hugging. I can't always tell if a person would be open to a hug in that instant so I will take another route to help - through food.
• Finally, AND THIS IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE, if I ever say to you, "Would you like a blue fruit snack?" you can be assured that you mean the world to me. Blue fruit snacks are the rarest and most favorite of all the foods. If I ever give you one, that means you are set with me - I will care about you forever.

This has been another installment of Sharing is Caring. Tune in next time when we interview those crazies to turn down food from their friends...

(PS: If you ever offer me blue food - especially in fruit snack form - you'll will probably never be able to get rid of me from that point on. Blue food is commitment food. So be prepared.)

Adventure #46: Gears

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." ~Charles M. Schulz

The design of gears is that they are simultaneously moving toward and away from each other as they turn. While I think this is a fascinating fact, it makes me wonder if there are times in our lives that we have to move away from some things as we progress toward others. Perhaps, like gears, we'll come full circle, thus returning to the original point.

Also I wonder, like the gears, if we ever fully know the purpose for our turning. Gears definitely don't see their place in the passing of the time on the giant clock or in the rushing of the amusement park ride for the guests' enjoyment. Without gears, we couldn't open cans or listen to a music box. In this way, perhaps, we are gears that play a part in the movement of the universe.

This then leads me to the conclusion that a single gear does not a machine make. We need one another to move us, inspire us to move. Just as a single gear on its own has little or no effect, we can have a greater impact when we connect with others and together get the gears turning. That's when the adventures begin.

Adventure #44: Averageness

"Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top." ~John Wooden

I guess I've always thought I am average. At everything I do in my life and as a person in general. Or at least I've thought that I'm not exceptional at anything, especially not any one thing. So I've always thought that meant I'm average.

Average intelligence.
Average abilities.
Average human.

Recently, it has been proposed that being average is unacceptable. Like a couple days ago in General Conference:

"There is no room for average or complacent disciples. Average is the enemy of excellence, and average commitment will prevent you from enduring to the end."

Hearing that, I nearly gave up right then. If average is the "enemy of excellence," then I must be the lowest sort of scum on the earth. Within the idea of being average, I have believed also that exceptional was out of my reach. This led to thinking that average is all I will ever be and by default enduring to the end isn't even in the range of my possibilities.

At that time, I felt discouraged and so I quit listening. I thought: I'm not enough and how could I ever be? In that attitude, I continued with my day. But Heavenly Father must have been watching. I can only guess that He might have thrown up His arms whilst shaking His head at my condition. Because then I can imagine Him smiling at an idea. And this is what followed.

I found myself with a few rare moments of alone time with my mother, who I found out quickly, felt similarly discouraged to this idea of average. We discussed how our expectations for ourselves are so high that excellence is virtually unattainable and we should probably take it a little easier on ourselves. Especially when hearing direction like above, we should take stock of our situation and attitude but not jump automatically to the conclusion that this message was obviously to let us know how much we are failing. Because we're not. We're really not.

Sharon Palmer is not a woman I would ever label as average. She is a remarkable person - wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc. Pianist, vocalist, chorister, speech therapist, teacher, writer, Relief Society president, etc. I mean, she earned her Master's degree while working full-time as a speech therapist and keeping her family going. She's written numerous books - some of them more than once. She taught piano off and on all through my growing up. She's always attended our events - concerts, games, etc. She welcomes anyone into her home - sometimes to stay. There were times when she carried our family. Other times she has been known to drag our family. Basically, she's essential to our family! And, she doesn't seem to do anything by halves. She has wisdom and determination beyond her years and silliness to relate to any age. My mom is an EXCEPTIONAL woman.

So when we started discussing how similarly we felt about our "averageness," I was mildly surprised. But it helped me realize that I wasn't alone in this. It even made sense for it to be my mom who I could relate to entirely on this. In this discussion then, we asked, "What is average? How is that even determined?" For me, this is a crucial point. Since we are advised not to compare, average must be determined on a personal level. We each have within us average and exceptional so we have to discover it for ourselves.

What is my average then?

I feel like I bring more questions to these writings than answers. Because I don't yet have a complete answer to what my average is. But I have realized that I'm doing better than I thought. I know I can still improve. I have exceptional and average moments still but I don't think I'm failing like I'd concluded before. I will also continue to look into averages so that I can understand where my excellence begins.

But for now, I guess the real point of this exposition was to brag on my brilliant mother a bit. And to inform anyone else reading this, with similar feelings of average and excellence, that you are doing much better than you think. I'd go so far as to advise acknowledging your excellence! You are exceptional humans! Give yourself a break because you are doing such good work and enjoying your adventures! As it should be!

Adventure #43: Living Joyfully

"Happiness here and now consists in freely, lovingly, joyfully acknowledging God's will for us -- and doing it in all ways and all affairs big and small." ~ Ezra Taft Benson

*SPOILER ALERT* For the Provo YSA 138th ward (especially its Relief Society members), this is a preview of my RS lesson for this coming Sunday. Do not continue reading if you want that to remain a complete mystery. If you'd like to know a bit of what's heading your way, please keep reading. Thank you.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

If you've ever read You Are Special by Max Lucado, then you know all about gray dots and gold stars and what they mean when another Wemmick sticks them to you. If you haven't read it, then I recommend a read and then a re-read. However, I'm going to proceed with this entry as if you have all read it.

Recently, my days have been filled with gray dots. And, I must admit that many, many of these gray dots have stuck to me. Saturday was an especially dense gray dot day. Possibly of my own design and I said such to my roommate who then said this:

"Hon, they're not your idea, they're Satan's. He's the one who wants you to feel bad about yourself. I mean, I totally understand feeling down because of any of those things. But just remember that no matter how tough things are in the moment, you'll outlast them!"

Spectacular wisdom, wouldn't you say? I do. And as I've been preparing my lesson for this week, I found that Pres. Benson also agrees. This is what he said:

"There are times when you simply have to righteously hang on and outlast the devil until his depressive spirit leaves you."

Both of these astute people direct our attention to the fact that some of what we think isn't our own creation. Do we really want to think badly of ourselves? I know I don't but up to this point hadn't ever made that connection. I recognize have the choice to accept this negativity or reject it for the light that Heavenly Father will let in once I do. Like Eli in You Are Special, He will always be there to show us how He feels about us - no gray dots or gold stars matter to Him. Beyond that, nothing Satan says to us can even touch what our great Creator knows about us individually.

Now I would also like to point out that Lindsay, the roommate who gave the advice above, is also in charge of assigning teachers in Relief Society. I was picked for this lesson less than 24 hours after she gave me that original advice.

I haven't asked her yet, so I don't know but there's a chance she read the lesson and applied her knowledge here. However, this isn't the first time that her advice and point of view has been so exactly on-target. From this experience and many before, I acknowledge that she is both bright and brilliant and also chooses to rely on our Heavenly Father to direct her words and actions for the benefit of all she encounters. And therefore, I sense a divine fingerprint integral in the arranging of these circumstances.

So how do we live joyfully? Free from grays dots and gold stars? Be like Punchinello - visit your Maker every day. Reject the negativity thrown at you from the deceiver. As is unavoidable, when you find yourself in those moments of despair, remember that you will outlast the devil. And, anytime you are willing to turn to your Father in Heaven, He is waiting for you with open arms. These are just a few of the adventures we are here to enjoy!

Adventure #42: Superheroes

“Superheroes were born in the minds of people desperate to be rescued.” ~ Jodi Picoult

I've always wanted to have super abilities. Flight. Invisibility. Telekinesis. The possibilities are endless and I'm stuck a limited mortal. One that has no potential to ever develop shape-shifting powers or super strength. I guess I could volunteer to be tested on, maybe get shot with some gamma rays or bit by a radioactive spider. But that isn't entirely conceivable. So for now - until I find a realistic option - I'll continue to pretend.

Of course, pretending is how I found my alter ego in the first place. Super Shadow has always been the better side of me. Ever since I stole my Young Women President's jacket at Girl's Camp and wore it around my neck like a cape anyway. Due to following Jen (Sister Christiansen) around that summer, I became Shadow. Snitching the jacket made me Super. I spent those days "flying" around camp - preparing meals, running errands, and creating general happiness. I felt super; I acted super.

And so I've been able to recreate this other days in my life as well. Through being Super Shadow, I've had a rare opportunity to be the type of hero I wish my every day person was. Much like what Pres. Uchtorf said:

"...we all have the capacity to be everyday heroes. Real heroes are those who try their best to inspire, uplift, and improve the lives of others, and who seek to love their fellowmen as the Lord loves them." 

It's a place to start at least. Inspiring and uplifting are, in large part, why we look to superheroes in our lives. Captain America, Batman, Thor, Wonder Woman, etc represent the power for good we desire to create in this dreary world. My goal then is to use Super Shadow to improve the lives around me. And, I hope that in some way my super-ness shines.

At least until the day, I am able to start moving things with my mind anyway. Then I'll have even more adventures to enjoy!

“Superpowers, don't always make you a superhero.” ~ Michael Grant

Adventure #40: Kindness of Strangers

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

My first day at SUU went as expected...a morning full of syllabi designed only to heighten one's stress. As I walked to my job, I reviewed in my mind the semester's worth of work that had been presented in 3 hours. I felt the work weighing on me, not yet having realized these assignments would come one at a time. With each step, I felt more and more alone in the college experience. As I was wondering what I had taken on and how to get out of it, a girl walking my way caught my attention.

She smiled as she introduced herself and turned to walk with me. Her name was Megan. We exchanged small talk about the start of classes, which included the information that this was my first semester. I suspect she already had a sense of that because she was continually upbeat in the conversation. And, without even really knowing me, she reassured me that I could handle whatever college would throw at me.

Then she left and I went to work. After that day, I saw her a few more times on campus. I'm not sure she ever recognized me but remembering her encouragement continues to bring a smile to my face.

This is the power we all have. A power to serve in whatever capacity we find ourselves. If we pay attention, we will see these opportunities to connect with others.

Fast forward about 3 years, I'm still going to SUU. I've moved off campus with some awesome roommates but our apartment is not far enough to make driving worth it. However, on the rainiest day of the year, I would have disagreed. And, even though the apartment was in sight, being completely soaked left me rather cranky.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an umbrella open as my neighbor ran out of her house toward me. I'm amazed how quickly emotions can be flipped. As she approached, my heart swelled with gratitude, where as a moment before I was griping about how wet I was. Cassie held the umbrella for me and mentioned that she would have been out sooner if she'd seen me. I chuckled because her act was already beyond the range of usual human interaction.

We talked until we reached my doorstep. I thanked her and walked in my house with a smile. Out the front window, I watched her run back to her house, thinking about how blessed I was.

How many people do that? See a near stranger out in the storm and rush out to provide whatever assistance they can. But how simple is it to do? I still need to invest in an umbrella for such times!

The start of the following year was one of the worst. My grandma died within a week of New Year's. If there's any person I want to be like, it is her. Geneal Palmer was clever and kind and creative. She radiated positivity, even through the difficulties she faced. My world was a darker place without her. And, I know this applies to anyone who knew her.

During the semester that followed, I started an Institute class. I don't remember which one for sure but the second day of that class, I walked out to find one of the nurses that had helped take care of Grandma. Nicole asked me how Grandma was doing, to which I answered honestly. Nicole expressed her sympathy and added, "She was a great lady, kind to all of us. It was a pleasure to work with her."

I definitely agreed. Well, she gave me a hug and headed to class. And, even though I was sad, it was a refreshing reminder of the goodness I come from.

These are only three examples of the kindnesses I've seen in my life. And, I've been blessed by many more. With this, I'd like to issue a challenge today - take a moment to reflect on the kindness of strangers in your own life. Then go out and pass it on. I promise you adventures if you do.

Enjoy them.

Adventure #33: Double Stuffed Cookies Revisited

Isaiah 48:18 - "O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea;"

Nearly two years ago, I wrote a post about double stuffed cookies, Isaiah, and My Friend Katie. The full experience can be read here. However, to sum it up: we were eating E.L. Fudge double stuffed cookies and discussing my thought that I was to share in my Isaiah class. I didn't come up with anything that related to Isaiah at that time. And even though I didn't have a connection then, MFK did come up with this:

"Her object lesson boils down to one statement:

'If you want your life to be sweeter, double stuff it with spiritual pursuits.'"

Now if you'll notice the quote/scripture at the top, in my recent study of the book of Isaiah, I finally found a scripture or two to support this lesson. A lesson that has how been taught to me by two of my favorite people. As Isaiah says, if you hearken to the commandments, then you will have both peace and righteousness (and apparently plenty of water). That seems double stuffed to me (and I'm not just saying that because he mentions two things - but that is convenient!) In a life such as this, peace and righteousness sound great! Not only do they sound wonderful but are needful, purposeful pursuits. And Isaiah (and several other prophets) have given us the keys to find them.

So as Isaiah says in 62:9 - "...they that have gathered it shall eat it, and praise the Lord; and they that have brought it together shall drink it in the courts of my holiness." Whether it's E.L Fudge cookies and milk or feasting on the words of Christ and partaking of the living waters, life is sweeter when it's doubled.

Adventure #31: Endings

"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Read the quote above.


Read it again.


Read it 3 more times.


Memorize it.


You got it? Me too. Brilliant, isn't it?

I've spent portions of my life arguing with myself...Why do you have such a problem with change? No one else seems to have such issues... I'd asked myself when I faced any good-bye, any move, or any interruption to my life. I'll admit that description makes me sound OCD but I hope I've portrayed the right idea. My mistake then is viewing all of these events as endings.

If I had been paying better attention, I could have learned the lesson of eternity stuff much sooner. When I was facing one of these aforementioned good-byes, I turned to my scriptures and found this:

"And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy." (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2)

Even with that being exactly what I wanted to hear, I held on to the doubts that I felt. I continued to emotionally fight change. So the review this weekend during Conference then was absolutely called for. In fact, of all that I could learn in my life, this is the most important - we are made of the stuff of eternity.

And, that leaves me with one more thought: living worthy of eternity. My goal now more than ever is to make my life worth an eternal chance. Using the comfort and direction of President Uchtdorf's words, I may just have a chance. I choose to live up to my potential.

Adventure #30: Wildlife

"The first problem of living is to minimize friction with the crowds that surround you on all sides."     ~ Isaac Asimov

He lived two trees down from the busiest pond in the forest. But it didn't have to be this overrun. Apparently, the rivers, springs, and ponds nearer to the invading animals' homes were somehow not satisfactory. They just wouldn't stay home. They came from miles around - traveling for hours and waiting for twice that long in lines to get a sip from this pond.

He did not understand why this pond was so busy. What was it about this pond that attracted this crowd? If he'd known his house would regularly be overtaken, he would have given a second thought to moving in two trees down from it.

Today, just within his sight, there were three deer, a hedgehog couple, and a mountain lion. A mountain lion! What was a mountain lion doing here? She was fraternizing with her prey. How could the mountain lion look the others in the eye, knowing she'd be eating some of them within the week?

"Why are you all standing outside my front door???" he yelled. Several startled animals turned to look at him but most remained ignorant, in their own little worlds. Without a response, he turned his back, stomping inside, determined to avoid being outside at this time of day.

The next day he broke that agreement with himself. He was spending time with one of his friends. Their activities led them back to his house. On the way, not only did they encounter the hordes of animals vying for the coveted pond water but the weather chose to disagree with them. The rain was ferocious as the two friends continued to battle the fans wildlife. Facing a still new environment, rain, and crowds, the two friends finally arrived soaked and irritated after having been lost - just as his roommate was leaving to join the masses. His resolve was renewed to never face these circumstances again.

The following day another friend approached him. "Let's spend some time at the Great Tree and then enjoy some of these amazing berries I found that the bush next to the Great Tree," his friend suggested.

"But what about the crowd around the pond?" he asked.

"If we leave now, we'll be back before the concourses arrive."

Skeptically, he went with his friend anyway. Their afternoon was a pleasant one, well worth the trip. Until their return. Though not as difficult as the rain experience, it still took three times as long on the return trip because of traffic wildlife.

"Tomorrow, I stay home," he told himself, once again.

Then his sister called. "I need your help gathering some roots. Will you come help me?"

"As long as it's right now. There's a lull in the congregation of cars animals. I'll be there in five minutes."

The plan was going accordingly until one rabbit passed. Then three bear cubs. Then a herd of moose. And a flock of robins flew overhead. He began to rush the gathering process.

"Where's the fire, brother?"

"We need to beat the rush. The animals are coming."

But as they ended the errand and headed for home, they saw those same animals passing them again in the opposite direction. He began to wonder what had happened. They fought through some large groups and pushed on through lesser numbers but all were headed away from the pond. After dropping off his sister, his journey home was surprisingly smooth for the time of day.

"Where is every-" And then he saw it. The stadium pond had dried up. It was over - the animals weren't coming back. His smile grew and grew, until he realized after the winter snows came and the sun melted the flurries on the mountain, the animals would be back for the football water.

Adventure #29 : Being Out of Luck

“It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything else.” ~John Green

luck  

noun 1. the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunities

 

People don't seem to have an opinion one way or another about luck. At least not many people I've had specific conversations with. Does it exist? Is there such thing as coincidence? Or is everything destined to be exactly as it has turned out? Okay, there are two people I know who are exceptions to not having an opinion on luck and both argue that, "There's no such thing as luck."

Those same people have told me that I'm out of luck when the opportunity has arisen.

My question is then:
Do you have to believe in luck to tell someone they are out of it?

Personally, I believe in luck. I believe in destiny as well. And I believe in God and His hand in my life too. But I don't believe that my dice roll when I play Chicken was designed with me in mind. As if someone said, "Melody has to roll three 6's, two 2's, and a 4 this roll!" No, that is luck. Card games? A shuffle is just that: random and luck of the draw. Maybe most of my belief in luck is just in relation to games but even those times when the lights are all green or finding a quarter on the sidewalk...these cases most of the time = luck. I believe there's much luck in the little every day things of life.

From this I've gathered, I've never been out of luck. I'm the one who has the luck. And for those who don't think it's out there...more for me! You're out of luck!

Adventure #28: Children vs. Growing Up

“When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.” ~Patrick Rothfuss

I've decided to start a "Children vs." selection of posts. This won't be an every month thing but I have more than one idea in relation to being children, so I felt it was necessary. I've spend so much time with children - teaching, tending, playing, etc - that I have few musings I'd like to share. This world is a better place because of the children in it.

Over the holiday break, I spent some time with my friends Melanie and Chris and their baby boy. The baby was having a cranky sort of day (as we are all likely to have) but a surprising thing distracted him. Winking. He was in his high chair making a pleasant mess and fussing here and there. I'm not sure how we noticed but when I would wink at him, he'd blink back and chuckle. I was so fascinated by this that I continued this "game" for probably 20 minutes. I didn't quit and neither did he. With every wink from me, he would blink right back (I say blink because his "wink" was with both eyes). And, as would be expected for such entertainment, the laughter was continuous for all parties.

How simple is that? I got lost in a world of repetitive exploration. Or perhaps psychological conditioning. Either way, Baby Boy Blinks was as happy to play along as I was. He had just learned a new skill that had a positive and immediate response. If only that type of experience was more frequent in the world.

Additionally, just today I was with My Friend Katie and her niece, lamenting over random drama in my day. When I was holding the adorable, squirmy little one (MFK's niece), I stood her up on my lap and addressed her, asking her about my problems. Before I could even get the first question out, her squishable face lit up like I'd just told her she'd won a million dollars (as a baby though, I don't think she'd care so much about that). I forgot my dilemma in the beam of that radiating smile. She was happy to be talked to, to be held, to be noticed.

How simple is that? I couldn't even finish the question, having encountered that cuteness. But more than that, Sweet Squirmy Smiles found joy in my goofy face and amusing voice. She appreciated a little attention and let you know with a beaming smile. This type of experience is definitely a simple indication but one that we could also use more of in life.

Perhaps my connection to growing up is unclear. Mostly, I just wanted to tell two really great stories. But at the same time, we lose some of this simplicity as we grow up. Learning a little something isn't celebrate-able anymore and a smile means so little after a few years. Something should be done about this. Hold on to the smiles. Don't forget to give a little attention. When you learn something, share it. Always encourage silliness. Channel the simplicity of children as often as you can.    

Adventure #23: My Family

Lilo: He was an orphan and we adopted him! What about "ohana"?
Nani: He hasn't been here that long!
Lilo: Neither have I. Dad said "ohana" means family. Family means...
Lilo & Nani: ...nobody gets left behind.
Lilo: Or...?
Nani: ...or forgotten. I know, I know. I hate it when you use "ohana" against me.

I knew I missed Cedar City like crazy! I still do but it might mostly be because that is where my family is. They drove me crazy when I lived with them...and perhaps I wouldn't trade my current adventure for that just yet but it is nice to know that they are always there, willing to welcome me back to their craziness. And that is love.

And where would one find more of that love than sitting in Grandpa Palmer's front room (because we're finally old enough!!!) chilling with the Palmer cousins? Or going to concerts with Tiana? Or eating Chinese food with Josh and Brooke? Or camping at Three Peaks over Easter weekend? Or groaning in unison with all Smiths within earshot of Grandpa Smith's most recent lame pun? Or chasing Hunter around at any Palmer get together? Or talking until 3am with Holly and Tiana? Or listening to Shamra describe her ever-adventurous life? Or hosting the traditional Katlyn-Racheal-Melody-Melissa-Miranda sleep over? Or visiting Bruno's with Angie? Or candlelight dinners on Valentine's Day with Mom, Dad, and sisters?

That is a LOT of love! And there continues to be even more...I'm part of the best families in the world! Who else would have put up with me for this long? After all, "Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts." So thank you to the sweet and the nutty because my life wouldn't be nearly so full of adventures without you all! I love you!!!