Adventure #15: Running Away Versus Walking Away

Running away from problems or troubles will make you fall into another problem or trouble. ~Raghav Singh  versus Sometimes you just gotta hold your head, smile, and walk away. ~Unknown

Is there a difference between running away from something and walking away from something? For instance, facing a life-altering decision and instead of making it, run away.... Or facing the same decision, walk away. With this concept in mind, is one or the other better? 

For whatever reason, I've always viewed running away as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not facing a problem because it's unbearable and therefore running, fast and far. No thought of returning; no indication of the future ahead.

Walking away removes the permanence, instead giving a problem necessary distance but the opportunity for a tomorrow. A length of time in which one thinks and redirects; enough that it gives the solver a moment or day or week of contemplative perspective.

However, my thoughts are not conclusive and now I wonder what others think. What do you think?

Adventure #14: Appearance

Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance.  ~Jean de La Fontaine

I don't want to be pretty...I don't want to be ugly...I want to be myself. This is a battle I've faced my whole life. I acknowledge that this is a plight of human nature and that to be "oneself" many people improve their appearance. That's great for them; but I won't.

People have entered my life mostly in simple ways; many of them have helped me to be a better person. Most have helped me to be smarter. Many have made me laugh. Several have introduced new things that I can no longer live without. And a select few did decide that it was their responsibility to make me more "myself" with make-up, hair-dos, and new clothes. I realize that they had good intentions but I feel that they didn't know the real me because if they did, there would have been no need for their "improvements." As hard as they tried, nearly nothing they did has stuck.

This isn't to say I haven't changed or improved; I think I've done plenty of both. But all of that has happened on my own terms, at least terms I'm comfortable with. And now I've arrived at my point - if you're not you on your own terms, then you are selling out. This idea is how I've always felt. Yes, be yourself. Yes, be beautiful, if that's who you are. Yes, be plain, if that's who you are. But always BE you.

So, as for me, I'm not myself if I do my hair every day. I'm not myself if I even wear mascara. I'm not myself if I spend more than twenty minutes in the bathroom to get ready for the day. But that's just me. And, all I want is to be myself.

Adventure #13: Being Scared

Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real. ~Author Unknown

When I was 16, I was scared to get my driver's license. I almost refused to learn to drive. Looking back now, it is one of my greatest blessings to know how to drive. Driving is also one of my favorite things to do! 

Similarly, I recently graduated from Southern Utah University with a degree in Elementary Education. I'm scared of getting a job teaching. Right now, the prospect seems the most terrifying of anything I could be doing. But I wonder if I just do it (as Nike says), maybe teaching will turn into something I love as much as driving.

But this is only one type of being scared.

As far as being scared by something jumping out or some such thing, one of my favorite and least favorite stories can be used to explain. I once went camping with a group of girls to my friend's cabin. This cabin had an outhouse which seemed like no big deal until it was dark and I had to use it. Swallowing what seemed like irrational fears, I walk over to the outhouse, open the latched door, and look upon a dummy (who's name, i found out later, is Maestro). Well, I didn't even react out loud...my heart was pounding...i nearly peed my pants...but I didn't make a noise. And instead just returned to the fire.

Still I had business to do! Since I didn't make a noise, no one knew I'd been over there. So when I mentioned that I still needed to use the outhouse, one of the other girls suggest I 'just do it' (again Nike). Well, my retort was snappy, "Why don't you do it?" Very clever on my part, I'd say. She walked over, open the latched door, and screamed! Her reaction got the attention of everyone. Once calmed down, my part of the story was told, consoled, and mocked. I did get to use it finally but refused until the dummy was hundreds of feet away.

There have been many other times I've experience fear of one type or another.

But the thing I'll never understand is people scaring themselves for fun. Last year with a group composed of roommates and friends, we decided to go to a haunted corn maze - that we had to wait in line for like 2 hours to get into. So, not only were we facing scaring ourselves, we also had to wait and not change our minds. I don't know about the rest of the world but my imagination is the worst part of these experiences. Though I think at least of my roommates would agreed because she was screaming and running away from things before we even entered the maze (and yes, this roommate attached herself to my other roommate who still has a scar from the experience).

My long-winded point is: all of these stories illustrate a key point that Nike summed up this way - Just Do It! Getting a driver's license, starting a career, using a scary outhouse, and waiting for hours to get through a haunted corn maze...In the end, after getting past resistance and for best results, DOn't quIT!

Adventure #12: Double Stuffed Cookies

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.  ~Barbara Jordan

In preparation for a thought I was to give in an Institute class, I asked a friend what subject I should discuss. She knew the class was focused on the writings of Isaiah but seeing as we were eating E.L. Fudge Double Stuffed cookies at the time, she proceeds to concoct an object lesson based on these cookies. Needless to say, I liked the idea. As much as I liked it, I could not find a suitable scripture in Isaiah to fit with the lesson. Sadly, I did not end up using it in class. However, as you can see, I kept it to present here.

Her object lesson boils down to one statement:

"If you want your life to be sweeter, double stuff it with spiritual pursuits."

 

 At the time, I thought it was clever and mildly amusing. Today I still agree with that assessment but can add a measure of support to the truthfulness of the statement. Recently, I've made an effort to bring more of the Spirit into my life. I can say that my life may not have gotten magically (or miraculously) easier and I still face many of the same problems but my life is sweeter. Sunrises and sunsets seem brighter and more colorful. A warm brownie is heaven in each bite. Smiles glow, laughter rings, and people cause my heart to feel light. There's a gentle softness to the world where so often before there was only pain.

And that is the miracle of Double Stuffed Cookies.

Adventure #11: The Hair Guidelines

Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself.  ~Hubert de Givenchy, Vogue, July 1985

I'm not entirely sure what the quote above means, at least in relation to myself but the following is a list that is meant for those like me who don't understand spending hours a week on one's hair.

The Hair Guidelines:

1. Pray before you begin.
2. Fill your stomach also before you begin.
3. If you run out of time because of #1 and #2, at least you did the two most important parts first!
4. If you didn't run out of time, by all means, continue on!
5. Choose a hair style that won't discourage you.
6. If #3 is impossible, comb it out, take a walk, breathe - it's just hair.
7. If #3 is possible, congratulations! You've done something I've never been able to accomplish - do share your secret!
8. Once a hair style is chosen, pursue that "perfect look."
9. When it doesn't look like the picture on the Internet, don't dismay! You've had an adventure! And I'd hazard a guess that you could start a trend with your new look.
10. Finally, tomorrow, just do #1 and #2!

Take luck!

Adventure #10: Marriage

"Love makes you crazy!" -Brittany Homer

Have you heard of the song "Marry Me" by Train? It is a sweet song; one that eventually grew on me. But not before I unintentionally insulted it while talking to one of my friends who was considering using it as a wedding song.

We'd been sitting in the car waiting for Kami to get back from one errand or another. "Marry Me" came on the radio. "I hate this song!" I had said and quickly changed the station. I don't remember if Brittany said anything about my reaction, maybe something sarcastic like, "Good to know how you feel about it!" or something to make me chuckle. Before the song had ended, Kami got back in the car.
"Are you still thinking of using this song as your wedding song?" she asked Britt.
And, man, did I feel ridiculous!

Needless to say, Brittany is married now. She walked down the aisle to "I Do" by Colbie Caillat. "Marry Me" was played at some point during the reception and I enjoyed all three minutes and 25 seconds of the song.

I've brought this story up because as the song "Marry Me" grew on me so did the idea of marriage or vice versa...I'm not entirely sure which. But in celebrating Brittany's marriage with her, I realized the full turn around I've made in attitude toward the institution. I'm so happy for her and Remington and grateful that I had the opportunity to share in their joy!

Adventure #9: Influence

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”

 

 I'm writing today to recognize that I have been influenced.... That is greatly influenced by the people around me. Also, I want to acknowledge those who go with me everywhere because of their influence. For the friend who loved books so much, I've always wanted to write something worthy of you. One of you out there is responsible for my love of swinging in the moonlight and midnight cheeseburgers...not to mention being my superhero partner! Another of you introduced me to Cream of Wheat and opened the door for a practical obsession with Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. And how about the person who lead me to my favorite band, National Product? My life will forever be different because of you who turned on Sherlock and later asked me to help garden when I didn't have a clue. And because of you who is trying to make my wall of kindness into a fence, life is enriched with those decadent moments of hilarity! But this list is not extensive...many more of you out there are always with me.

Of course, one can't speak of influence without including genetics...I love organizing things and science experiments, making and keeping friends, and have a wall of kindness because of how two wonderful people raised me. I can appreciate a great joke and can stand a messy room because of the two other people those wonderful people raised.

 

But the whole reason I brought up this range of influence was because of how I spent my weekend. I've volunteered for Special Olympics events several times in the last year. Now, there's one of you out there that is entirely responsible for this! You are the same one who's responsible for introducing me to Zumba and you are the reason that I own (and regularly use) a tongue scrubber. Those points aside, because of you, I have been affected and made better through these experiences. I was surrounded by the most content and most enthusiastic people I've ever encountered. They lived simply and loved every moment! This is how I want to learn to be.

My point is this...I am grateful for the influence of beautiful, awe-inspiring people. And thank you all for being those people!