Adventure #15: Running Away Versus Walking Away

Running away from problems or troubles will make you fall into another problem or trouble. ~Raghav Singh  versus Sometimes you just gotta hold your head, smile, and walk away. ~Unknown

Is there a difference between running away from something and walking away from something? For instance, facing a life-altering decision and instead of making it, run away.... Or facing the same decision, walk away. With this concept in mind, is one or the other better? 

For whatever reason, I've always viewed running away as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not facing a problem because it's unbearable and therefore running, fast and far. No thought of returning; no indication of the future ahead.

Walking away removes the permanence, instead giving a problem necessary distance but the opportunity for a tomorrow. A length of time in which one thinks and redirects; enough that it gives the solver a moment or day or week of contemplative perspective.

However, my thoughts are not conclusive and now I wonder what others think. What do you think?

Adventure #14: Appearance

Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance.  ~Jean de La Fontaine

I don't want to be pretty...I don't want to be ugly...I want to be myself. This is a battle I've faced my whole life. I acknowledge that this is a plight of human nature and that to be "oneself" many people improve their appearance. That's great for them; but I won't.

People have entered my life mostly in simple ways; many of them have helped me to be a better person. Most have helped me to be smarter. Many have made me laugh. Several have introduced new things that I can no longer live without. And a select few did decide that it was their responsibility to make me more "myself" with make-up, hair-dos, and new clothes. I realize that they had good intentions but I feel that they didn't know the real me because if they did, there would have been no need for their "improvements." As hard as they tried, nearly nothing they did has stuck.

This isn't to say I haven't changed or improved; I think I've done plenty of both. But all of that has happened on my own terms, at least terms I'm comfortable with. And now I've arrived at my point - if you're not you on your own terms, then you are selling out. This idea is how I've always felt. Yes, be yourself. Yes, be beautiful, if that's who you are. Yes, be plain, if that's who you are. But always BE you.

So, as for me, I'm not myself if I do my hair every day. I'm not myself if I even wear mascara. I'm not myself if I spend more than twenty minutes in the bathroom to get ready for the day. But that's just me. And, all I want is to be myself.

Adventure #13: Being Scared

Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real. ~Author Unknown

When I was 16, I was scared to get my driver's license. I almost refused to learn to drive. Looking back now, it is one of my greatest blessings to know how to drive. Driving is also one of my favorite things to do! 

Similarly, I recently graduated from Southern Utah University with a degree in Elementary Education. I'm scared of getting a job teaching. Right now, the prospect seems the most terrifying of anything I could be doing. But I wonder if I just do it (as Nike says), maybe teaching will turn into something I love as much as driving.

But this is only one type of being scared.

As far as being scared by something jumping out or some such thing, one of my favorite and least favorite stories can be used to explain. I once went camping with a group of girls to my friend's cabin. This cabin had an outhouse which seemed like no big deal until it was dark and I had to use it. Swallowing what seemed like irrational fears, I walk over to the outhouse, open the latched door, and look upon a dummy (who's name, i found out later, is Maestro). Well, I didn't even react out loud...my heart was pounding...i nearly peed my pants...but I didn't make a noise. And instead just returned to the fire.

Still I had business to do! Since I didn't make a noise, no one knew I'd been over there. So when I mentioned that I still needed to use the outhouse, one of the other girls suggest I 'just do it' (again Nike). Well, my retort was snappy, "Why don't you do it?" Very clever on my part, I'd say. She walked over, open the latched door, and screamed! Her reaction got the attention of everyone. Once calmed down, my part of the story was told, consoled, and mocked. I did get to use it finally but refused until the dummy was hundreds of feet away.

There have been many other times I've experience fear of one type or another.

But the thing I'll never understand is people scaring themselves for fun. Last year with a group composed of roommates and friends, we decided to go to a haunted corn maze - that we had to wait in line for like 2 hours to get into. So, not only were we facing scaring ourselves, we also had to wait and not change our minds. I don't know about the rest of the world but my imagination is the worst part of these experiences. Though I think at least of my roommates would agreed because she was screaming and running away from things before we even entered the maze (and yes, this roommate attached herself to my other roommate who still has a scar from the experience).

My long-winded point is: all of these stories illustrate a key point that Nike summed up this way - Just Do It! Getting a driver's license, starting a career, using a scary outhouse, and waiting for hours to get through a haunted corn maze...In the end, after getting past resistance and for best results, DOn't quIT!

Adventure #12: Double Stuffed Cookies

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.  ~Barbara Jordan

In preparation for a thought I was to give in an Institute class, I asked a friend what subject I should discuss. She knew the class was focused on the writings of Isaiah but seeing as we were eating E.L. Fudge Double Stuffed cookies at the time, she proceeds to concoct an object lesson based on these cookies. Needless to say, I liked the idea. As much as I liked it, I could not find a suitable scripture in Isaiah to fit with the lesson. Sadly, I did not end up using it in class. However, as you can see, I kept it to present here.

Her object lesson boils down to one statement:

"If you want your life to be sweeter, double stuff it with spiritual pursuits."

 

 At the time, I thought it was clever and mildly amusing. Today I still agree with that assessment but can add a measure of support to the truthfulness of the statement. Recently, I've made an effort to bring more of the Spirit into my life. I can say that my life may not have gotten magically (or miraculously) easier and I still face many of the same problems but my life is sweeter. Sunrises and sunsets seem brighter and more colorful. A warm brownie is heaven in each bite. Smiles glow, laughter rings, and people cause my heart to feel light. There's a gentle softness to the world where so often before there was only pain.

And that is the miracle of Double Stuffed Cookies.

Adventure #11: The Hair Guidelines

Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself.  ~Hubert de Givenchy, Vogue, July 1985

I'm not entirely sure what the quote above means, at least in relation to myself but the following is a list that is meant for those like me who don't understand spending hours a week on one's hair.

The Hair Guidelines:

1. Pray before you begin.
2. Fill your stomach also before you begin.
3. If you run out of time because of #1 and #2, at least you did the two most important parts first!
4. If you didn't run out of time, by all means, continue on!
5. Choose a hair style that won't discourage you.
6. If #3 is impossible, comb it out, take a walk, breathe - it's just hair.
7. If #3 is possible, congratulations! You've done something I've never been able to accomplish - do share your secret!
8. Once a hair style is chosen, pursue that "perfect look."
9. When it doesn't look like the picture on the Internet, don't dismay! You've had an adventure! And I'd hazard a guess that you could start a trend with your new look.
10. Finally, tomorrow, just do #1 and #2!

Take luck!

Adventure #10: Marriage

"Love makes you crazy!" -Brittany Homer

Have you heard of the song "Marry Me" by Train? It is a sweet song; one that eventually grew on me. But not before I unintentionally insulted it while talking to one of my friends who was considering using it as a wedding song.

We'd been sitting in the car waiting for Kami to get back from one errand or another. "Marry Me" came on the radio. "I hate this song!" I had said and quickly changed the station. I don't remember if Brittany said anything about my reaction, maybe something sarcastic like, "Good to know how you feel about it!" or something to make me chuckle. Before the song had ended, Kami got back in the car.
"Are you still thinking of using this song as your wedding song?" she asked Britt.
And, man, did I feel ridiculous!

Needless to say, Brittany is married now. She walked down the aisle to "I Do" by Colbie Caillat. "Marry Me" was played at some point during the reception and I enjoyed all three minutes and 25 seconds of the song.

I've brought this story up because as the song "Marry Me" grew on me so did the idea of marriage or vice versa...I'm not entirely sure which. But in celebrating Brittany's marriage with her, I realized the full turn around I've made in attitude toward the institution. I'm so happy for her and Remington and grateful that I had the opportunity to share in their joy!

Adventure #9: Influence

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”

 

 I'm writing today to recognize that I have been influenced.... That is greatly influenced by the people around me. Also, I want to acknowledge those who go with me everywhere because of their influence. For the friend who loved books so much, I've always wanted to write something worthy of you. One of you out there is responsible for my love of swinging in the moonlight and midnight cheeseburgers...not to mention being my superhero partner! Another of you introduced me to Cream of Wheat and opened the door for a practical obsession with Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. And how about the person who lead me to my favorite band, National Product? My life will forever be different because of you who turned on Sherlock and later asked me to help garden when I didn't have a clue. And because of you who is trying to make my wall of kindness into a fence, life is enriched with those decadent moments of hilarity! But this list is not extensive...many more of you out there are always with me.

Of course, one can't speak of influence without including genetics...I love organizing things and science experiments, making and keeping friends, and have a wall of kindness because of how two wonderful people raised me. I can appreciate a great joke and can stand a messy room because of the two other people those wonderful people raised.

 

But the whole reason I brought up this range of influence was because of how I spent my weekend. I've volunteered for Special Olympics events several times in the last year. Now, there's one of you out there that is entirely responsible for this! You are the same one who's responsible for introducing me to Zumba and you are the reason that I own (and regularly use) a tongue scrubber. Those points aside, because of you, I have been affected and made better through these experiences. I was surrounded by the most content and most enthusiastic people I've ever encountered. They lived simply and loved every moment! This is how I want to learn to be.

My point is this...I am grateful for the influence of beautiful, awe-inspiring people. And thank you all for being those people!

Adventure #8: Last Night (or really four nights ago) I Had the Strangest Dream

Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask.  ~X-Files

I may not have sailed away to China in a little row boat to find you nor did you have to have your laundry cleaned but my dream was just a revealing as to the nature of the state of my life.

The building was collapsing around me. The only way out was to jump. Even if it was only 10 or 15 feet, I was terrified. Scared to my core, there was no way I could just let go and jump. And then I saw the solution! Laying conveniently on the ground was a ladder! Now if only someone could hand it to me...wait, someone was there - it was Linsey!

"Hand me the ladder," I cried, from relief and exhaustion.

"No, just jump!" Linsey responded.

Aghast, I did not move. That was so mean!

Once more, she responded, "Just jump."

Waking up, I wondered, Was that just a dream?

Adventure #7: Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day

Don 't hurry. Don't worry. You're only here for a short visit. So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.  ~Walter Hagen

I created a holiday when I was a sophomore in high school. Its intent was to get my best friend to take a break. He was quite uptight, especially when it came to school work. I was attempting to prove to him that there were a few things more important than straight A's; that it was acceptable to relax once in a while.

With that in mind, this year's Stop and Smell the Roses Day was an adventure to be sure but it didn't fit the exact essence of the day. I loved every minute of it. Even the: "We're just sitting here basking in the sun. Doesn't this count as Stop and Smell the Roses Day?" No, no it doesn't. We were in the midst of hosting 7-hour long moving sale that had started at 7 a.m.

When a person stops to smell a rose, what goes through his or her mind? I can tell you what it's not...it's not the thought of every item on a to-do list. It's not that the lawn needs to be mowed or the car needs an oil change or that the world might stop if I don't keep it moving.

None of that matters! In that aromatic instant, a simple beauty and an excellent fragrance is the whole world! The person holding that rose is appreciative of that uncomplicated moment.

So today, I spent what little time I had trying to be simple and grateful. And, that is the essence of Official Stop and Smell the Roses Day...it is not doing nothing, like I once tried to explain it. However, it is an attempt to bring beauty into an unfortunate world while living simply in complicated times. It's a push for slowing down, even stopping to at least smell a rose.

Adventure #6: Leaving

“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”  ~ Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran

I was wrong to be sad about change but I was also right. Because I wanted you to know that you mean something to me, I tried to express that our time here is and was worth remembering. Yes, there will be more great times - together and apart - I hope and pray for that. I know our futures are bright! I just needed you to know that you'll always mean something to me.

I am sad...but you'll always be a part of who I've come to be. That's what I wanted you to know.

Adventure #5: If Life Were Simple...

When the solution is simple, God is answering.  ~Albert Einstein

If Life Were Simple
 
Where would the teddy bears go?
Their always friendly eyes,
Their hug-able-ness,
Their never shrinking warmth.

Who would drink hot chocolate?
It's creamy flow, 
It's frothy cocoa-ness,
It's power to ease a hurting heart.

Where would one put the glow-in-the-dark stars?
Their illuminating quality,
Their stick-able-ness,
Their ability to bring about memories.

Who would listen to the creek?
It's majesty to mold,
It's plainness to view,
It's soothing tones.

Most of all, where would the friend be?
The friend who danced with you in the rain,
who held your hand through the dark,
who made you soup when you were sick,
and from that first hug, never let go of the person you could be.

Where would they go, if life were simple? 

Adventure #4: The Sorting Hat

Harry: Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.
Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. It's all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, there's no doubt about that. No?

Choices...sometimes difficult to make, other times it's very clear what you want. However, some decisions lead to what I call The Sorting Hat Effect. Recently in our house it's been discussed that my roommate's favorite color isn't actually pink or green but is in fact red because of the coloring of clothing she picks and the cuteness level to her of most things red. If this were the case, then my favorite color would switch from green back to blue. I disagree that this is how favorite colors are discovered.

For Mr. Potter in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, once the Sorting Hat is placed on his head, it has the inclination to place him in Slytherin. Personally, I think the Hat was just messing with him to see his reaction. But Rowling is a genius in that she created that pivotal moment proving that "It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny" (Jean Nidetch). This also connects later when Harry relates this story to reassure his son.

If you'll follow me just a bit longer, The Sorting Hat Effect is then applicable to many of our choices. It is not chance that determines my favorite color. Yes, it seems destined that if I always head for blue clothing then blue is my favorite color. However, I've chosen green and therein lies the destiny of my favorite color! It is my choice. So if the Sorting Hat were sitting on my head right now, it would declare for the world that my favorite color is in fact green!

Harry: Please, please. Anything but Slytherin, anything but Slytherin.
Sorting Hat: Well if you're sure, better be... GRYFFINDOR!

Adventures #3: Being different.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."  ~e.e. cummings

Bravery, I feel, is the act of showing the world who you are. It is not so much that you have to be different; it is, however, that you must be honest. Or rather, I must be honest. I find myself lost in opinions, thinking that somehow those opinions are who I need to be. What kind of thinking is that? Since it has taken so much time to reach a point where I'm glad to be me, why should I let opinions or suggestions destroy that? I shouldn't.
Here's my proposal...I'm still a work-in-progress. I may never be finished. At least, not in this life. But as that work-in-progress, I'm going to continue to choose who I want to be. Also, I'm going to make my opinions and suggestions genuine and gentle. But most of all, I'm going to be honest. And if that puts me in the range of different...happy to be here.